Signs Of An Emotional Affair

Is your spouse having an emotional affair? You can read more about emotional affairs in that article, this article will focus on the warning signs that you might observe from a husband or wife having who is emotionally cheating.

Most people, the cheaters especially, do not consider emotional affairs as real affairs, because there nothing sexual going on. In reality, most of these emotional affairs will turn into physical “real” affairs. It may even be the cause of your breakup because in physical affairs, sex is the only goal of the cheater; in emotional affairs, both their physical and emotional needs are met by their new lovers.

Emotional Affair Signs

Spouse is distant

One of the first things you may observe from a cheating spouse having an emotional affair is that they feel or seem distant. They act aloof, don’t look forward to seeing you, or just basically stop caring about anything that happens involving both of you. The closest feeling you get is the one you feel right after a fight, when they give you the could shoulder; but not severe enough to warrant a confrontation about why they are so cold towards you. A cause of an emotionally distant spouse could be having trouble deciding whether or not they want to stay in their current relationship.

Lack of emotional or physical intimacy

Another sign of emotional cheating. When your spouse loses the need for you, either physically or emotionally, that could mean someone else has stepped up to fulfill their needs. This may also be a sign of physical infidelity, especially if coupled with out of town trips, or late night over time excuses. When you notice lack of intimacy in your relationship, you need to act immediately or risk losing the bond you and your spouse have. Even if you do not suspect them of having an emotional affair, lack of intimacy is the cause of “falling out of love” that we hear about so often in the media (and for most women, that’s Oprah).

Overly suspicious about YOU cheating

If there’s one thing cheaters are great at, it’s misdirection, and this is one of the most common ways cheaters divert your suspicions away from things that could get their affairs caught. I’m sure everyone has experienced this in their lives, when someone who is guilty of something suddenly accuses you of doing what they are guilty off. Cheaters are hypocrites, I’m sure you know that if you’ve ever had to deal with one. My ex-wife once told me that if I kept coming home late, she’ll install a GPS tracker on my car. She actually did, and I let her, because I had nothing to fear.

Defensive about everything

Whether or not you know of their affairs, asking them a simple question like “Where were you last night? I didn’t catch you going in” will drive them to be completely defensive. This overly defensive manner they put up when they answer you is caused by the guilt; something that is common with cheating spouses who have just started an affair – be it emotional or physical. Like being overly suspicious, overly defensive cheaters will become irritated, and play the victim card for the sole purpose of misdirection.

Having a secret friend of the opposite sex

Doesn’t matter if it’s online, or “in real life”, having a secret friend is a sign of an emotional affair, or an emotional affair waiting to happen. I don’t know why most people say “in real life” when differentiating something online, and something on the computer; it’s still both in real life, it’s just a different form of communication. As far as I’m concerned, emotionally cheating on the computer is the same thing as having an emotional affair with a workmate. There’s no reason to keep a friend secret from your spouse unless you have something to hide.  If you find out about your spouse keeping someone from you, do a little more snooping and check to see what their relationship is like. If they treat each other in a way normal friends do, it’s fine; if you find out they are close and share intimate details they would normally be reserved for their spouses, there might be an emotional affair brewing on the horizon.

Arguing more than usual

It’s healthy to argue once in a while, we’re humans, we don’t agree with each other every time. But if you notice that you are fighting and arguing a lot more over unimportant things, or menial tasks, you might be dealing with an emotional affair. This is another way for liars to misdirect your attention; it could be to get some alone time in another room while they call or chat with the person they are having an emotional affair with, or they could be looking for an easy way to storm out of the house without you suspecting anything.

Schoolboy/Schoolgirl crush

Remember when you use to have a crush on someone when you were younger? You’ll light up just because they are in the same room with you, or because you got to talk to them. You can notice this too with your spouse, if they come home and head straight for the computer to chat, or they are overly happy when they get a phone call, they might be talking to their new “love interest”. Just like when you first started going out with your spouse, they are excited whenever they are about to meet or talk to the other person. This is also what happens to people who have the “7 year itch”, but emotionally not physically.

 

Since we were children, we were always taught by our parents that if you do something wrong, you are going to get punished for your actions. I guess for some people, those who don’t consider emotional affairs as “just talking”, they aren’t doing anything wrong. They continue to justify their actions in their own mind as being harmless, which makes it a lot more difficult to catch an emotionally cheating spouse; spouses involved in a physical affair are more guilty, more defensive, and leave a lot more clues. Some people even consider this a game, thinking they aren’t hurting anyone, and “what they won’t know won’t hurt them”.

If you caught your spouse in an emotional affair, explain to them how it IS harmful, and it IS something that is destructive to your relationship. If they refuse to stop, and repeatedly cheat on you emotionally, marriage counseling might be necessary.

GPS Vehicle Tracking Devices

This is one of the ways mentioned in the main how to catch a cheating spouse article. In this article we will be talking about the types of GPS (Global Positioning System) devices, mainly the ones used for vehicle tracking. This will only be a general guide to help you pick your own tracker; for direct product recommendations follow this link to the gps car tracking devices page.

Before buying or using any type of GPS device or spy tools, please check your local state laws. It is absolutely illegal to attach and monitor a vehicle that does not belong to you.

What are GPS Vehicle Tracking Devices?

GPS vehicle trackers are small devices that you can hide on your car that will allow you to track it’s location via Google Maps; some of the older GPS car trackers have their own built in system that does not make use of Google maps, but it will still display the exact location of your car on a similar platform.These are also some of the most common tools Private Investigators use to follow your spouse’s car. For the purpose of this article we will only focus on GPS devices that will help us catch a cheating spouse, and monitor our children’s activities, we will not be talking about GPS devices that are used for navigational purposes.

How Do I Use GPS To Catch A Cheating Spouse?

You select which type of tracker you want to use, and attach it to your vehicle. Once attached and active, the GPS device will continually record the location of your spouse’s car. You will be able to know exactly where they are, and what time they were there. Unlike the simple free method which tells you to monitor your spouse’s mileage and gas consumption, this will provide verifiable evidence that your spouse is lying to you about their location.

You will have proof of where they were, but not who they are with; so before any confrontation, you might consider following them next time they head to their “secret” place and check up on them and who they’re with. You could do this yourself, or even better get a friend to do it for you so they can follow them without being noticed. If you can afford to spend hundreds of dollars, you could hire a private investigator to do this for you.  If you plan on following your spouse or having a friend follow them, you are looking to buy a “real-time” GPS tracker. If you just want to know whether or not your spouse is lying to you about where they are going, you will want a cheap “passive tracker”.

 

Types of GPS trackers

Real-time GPS Trackers

GPS Tracker

Satellites are used to monitor GPS trackers.

A real time GPS tracker is the one you should get if you want to be able to monitor the tracker remotely. There are usually three items you get when you buy a realtime tracker, the tracker itself, the receiver, and the software.

The GPS receiver is the part of your GPS tracking system that collects the data from the tracker, and allows you to view it remotely via the computer, laptop, or your cell phone. Most modern GPS systems will make use of Google Maps when displaying data.

The GPS tracker is the part of your GPS system that you attached to the car, bag, pet, or whatever you want to monitor. This transmits it’s location to the receiver, and may be powered by rechargeable batteries, or directly attached to your car’s battery. More advanced GPS devices have built in functions to send “emergency rescue” signals.

The GPS software is basically your user interface for accessing the data your receiver has gathered. Some GPS trackers, those that use websites to feed you the data, will directly link you to google maps. Website based trackers more often than not require a monthly or yearly subscription.

This is recommended for people that want to protect their car from theft, or as mentioned above, so you can follow or have a friend follow your spouse’s location.

Passive GPS Trackers

Passive GPS trackering systems only consist of the GPS tracker, and software (same as above). They basically act the same but with no remote access for the passive tracker. That means if you hide it in your car, you will need to wait for your car to return home to be able to retrieve the data via computer or laptop USB. This is a nice cheaper alternative to the real-time trackers if you want to monitor your spouse’s location, but it is useless if you are buying a GPS tracker for the purpose of protecting your car.

This is recommended for people who want to catch their spouse cheating, it’s simple, cheap and provides us with everything we need; factual evidence that they are lying about where they were. If you want to follow your spouse, you will need the real-time tracker.

Disguised GPS Trackers

These can be passive or real-time, the only difference is they are made to look like everyday items. There are some GPS gadgets that are made to look like pens, some dog collars, some stuffed toys. I wouldn’t recommend these for catching a cheater, especially the smaller ones mainly because GPS trackers usually cost anywhere between $50-100 while a “disguised” GPS tracker will almost double the price. For the SAME features. It’s not worth it in my opinion. If you want a disguised tracker, buy a cheap GPS and stuff it into a teddy bear, or a tissue box in your car, or into a baby car seat. Be creative, don’t pay double for something you can use your creativity on. What is useful though are the GPS watches, and personal trackers which are the size of an ipod, but thicker.

This is recommended for young kids, the GPS watches are helpful and durable; the personal GPS trackers have built in “panic buttons” to alert authorities.

Personal GPS Trackers

These devices are another form of “real time” GPS tracking, with the added features of built in panic buttons. Panic buttons are used to send out an SOS to the receiver (your computer, laptop, or cell phone) at home, to a set of contacts via email or cell phone, and, depending on the model you pick, may even send out a distress signal directly to your local emergency response center .The response center then contacts your local police, the coast guard, or if your personal GPS tracker supports global tracking, the tracker will contact your embassy. Abusing this feature will get you in lots of trouble.

Personal GPS trackers cost exceptionally more than the other trackers because of the panic button feature, as well as the lengthy battery life. A $200+ unit will have a battery lifetime of up to a month.

This is recommended for monitoring your children, or any relative that works in a dangerous area. Downside of this is it is rather large and bulky, think walkman size, and the subscription fee is typically higher than the normal active tracker. If you are too young to know what a walkman is, think ipod, but around 2-3 inches thick. I just gave away my age there :).

Cell phone GPS trackers

These are spy software for cell phones that are coupled with the ability to read any texts, emails sent from the phone, as well as view the phonebook or call history. We already covered this in another article, see the article on cell phone trackers for more information.

This is recommended for tracking a mobile phone’s location if a car is not available. Also added features such as monitoring text messages, emails, and websites visited.

 

What Is The Best GPS To Buy For Cars?

It depends on what you want it for. If you are planning to use it to monitor where your spouse or kids location was for a day, the simple passive tracker will fulfill your needs; assuming that they will be returning back home and you will have physical access to the tracker. If you are planning to buy a car tracker for the sake of securing your car (anti theft), you will need a real-time GPS tracker for the remote checking functionality, passive trackers are obviously useless here since you won’t ever see your car again.

If buying for the sake of just catching a cheating spouse, pick the cheapest GPS tracker you can find that only reports back location. If buying for the sake of monitoring your kids I would recommend something that logs the location AND the travel speed, so you’ll know if your children are breaking the speed limits and you can warn them. When buying for the sake of protecting a vehicle, location is the only thing that really matters; most real-time subscription based GPS products monitor the tracker from any location in the country, some (cell phone trackers especially) even monitor internationally.

If you’re looking for an exact model, please see the link above to the product review page.

 

What Is The Best GPS Tracker For Kids?

For kids, not old enough to drive, you can give them GPS tracking watches, keychains, or personal GPS trackers. They are usually small enough to fit in their bags. Personal GPS trackers are a type of real-time trackers with built in functions such as calling 911, sending SOS to the receiver, and works anywhere on the planet. These personal GPS trackers should only be used for monitoring your children, they are too expensive to be used for simply trying to catch your spouse cheating; prices average between $100-200+, but it is WELL worth it to have a panic button for your child to push in case they are in danger.

 

Where Should I Hide My GPS Tracker?

  1. For micro trackers, these are so small they can be kept inside briefcases and purses. Downside to these “micro GPS” are that it is usually the passive data collector type. Real-time GPS trackers are a bit bigger so it wouldn’t hide well in a purse. I suggest taping the micro trackers in a briefcase pocket.
  2. For magnetic GPS tracking devices, the best places to hide it in are the trunk, above the tires (they will stick to metal and are very study), underneath the dashboard, and behind the bumper of your car.
  3. Simple everyday items that are big enough that you can stuff a small GPS tracker in it. No reason to spend extra for some of the custom made “disguised GPS units”, just create them yourselves. Some common items to put in your car and stuff a GPS tracker into are: a tissue box, stuffed toys, car pillows, DVD cases, and child seats and toys.

 

Additional information

It is illegal to monitor a vehicle, that you do not own, by attaching a GPS tracking device to it, but did you know that a government agent CAN track anyone’s property even without a warrant? They can sneak in to your house at night and attach a GPS car tracing device while you are sleeping. Read an article on time magazine which talks about this, the article is by Adam Cohen, lawyer and Time writer : http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2013150,00.html

Emotional Affairs

What are emotional affairs?

Emotional affairs are relationships formed by individuals who are already in a monogamous relationship (married or long term relationship), but start or maintain another relationship that involves emotional intimacy with a different partner. These new relationships could start out merely as plain friendship, but slowly end up turning into emotional affairs. A relationship can be considered an emotional affair when the details of your conversation are too intimate that it would normally be only appropriate to talk about it with your significant other.

According to Dr. Shirley P. Glass, an infidelity expert, psychologist, and a licensed family and marriage therapist, women are more prone to have emotional affairs than men, and men are more prone to the regular physical affair, where emotions are not the main root cause of infidelity. In a study done by Dr. Glass, she notes that the women who have had extramarital emotional affairs were more unsatisfied with their marriage compared to their male counterparts, and both sexes who have had sexual affairs were both equally more unsatisfied than those who have just had emotional affairs.

It is also noted in Dr. Glass’ book, “Not Just Friends”,  that 57% of wives and 44% of husbands that had affairs said they had strong emotional intimacy with their new partners, but withheld any physical intimacy. This emotional affair statistic maybe misleading because people who take surveys are not always honest with themselves, or with the interviewer. The fact is that if an emotional affair goes on for long enough, eventually the two people in that affair will become so comfortable the relationship may transcend into the realm of physical intimacy.

The leap from being comfortable talking about intimate details to meeting each other and talking about it in real life may take awhile. But the point of meeting each other to having your first kiss, could just be around the corner, and from then on, everything speeds up leading to more physical intimacy. The truth is, people think that talking about intimate details with someone other than your spouse is not a threat. Most people think having regular interactions on the internet with a person of the opposite sex is not going to affect your real life relationship because “we’re just talking. Trust me, once you get comfortable enough, you will want to meet this person in real life. Those having emotional affairs with people they already know in real life, that is even more dangerous because you have constant contact with that person. This is how my ex-wife and I broke up, she was developing a relationship(secretly) with another man she met in an online forum. They eventually met up in real life and I did not even find out about that until several months after I found out that they were chatting on line.

 

Emotional Affair Statistics.

What bother men and women more, emotional or physical infidelity?

emotional affair

Women are more prone to emotional affairs than men.

In a study done by Dr. Christine R. Harris, statistics show that out of 137 subjects(55 male, 87 female) most of them put more weight on emotional infidelity rather than physical infidelity. Out of 87 females, 12% said they care more about physical infidelity, and 88% said they care more about emotional infidelity. Out of 55 males, 47% said they care more about physical infidelity, 53% said they care more about emotional infidelity.

The statistics provided by Dr. Harris’ research seem to make it clear that men are equally bothered by both, and women are far more bothered by emotional infidelity. Now you know why your wife seems to be “overly” jealous when you flirt, or react positively to a women who flirts with you.

 

What is considered emotional cheating?

Deception

You may have experienced this yourself, telling your partner you are doing one thing, but really you are spending time with someone of the opposite sex. This is a form of emotional cheating, twist it however way you want to, it still is emotional cheating. There is no reason for you to ever lie to your spouse about who you are with and what you are doing unless it’s something you know they will disagree with. If you are deceiving your spouse, you are cheating on them emotionally. Sure once or twice it may not feel wrong, but it is. Continue on doing that and you will be on your way to a disastrous marriage. Pray your spouse never tries to track your actions or spy on you, because your stories will be full of holes.

Betraying marriage values

Another way to emotionally cheat on your spouse. Telling someone of the opposite sex about intimate details of your relationship is considered emotional cheating. If you can not talk about something with your everyday regular friends, you should not talk about it with anyone else other than your spouse. Talking about how terrible and miserable you are in a relationship with someone who isn’t your wife or husband is a major form of betrayal.

Devoting extra time to the other person

When you get home from work or whenever you have extra time, you choose to spend this on the internet chatting with your new friend instead of doing what your spouse wants to do, this is another form of emotional cheating. You are putting the needs of this other person before the needs of the person you are married to at the same time lying to them about who you are talking with online. Texting and having phone conversations with a person of the opposite sex also is the same thing, emotional cheating.

Secret Friends

Do you have a friend that your spouse does not know exists? Is this friend of the opposite sex? This “secret friendship” could blossom into an emotional affair if you continue to let it grow, without your spouse’s knowledge. You’ll know when it’s getting “serious” when you start sharing intimate details of your relationship with your spouse to this new person. It may start simply by you talking about your day, and tell them things you left out when you were talking to your spouse. You may even try to justify it as “at least he/she won’t judge me” or “my husband/wife doesn’t care about it”, or it could be that you are subconsciously wanting to make your relationship with your new partner stronger by having conversations that only you two share.

When you can tell, or feel like you can tell anything to that one specific person, but you can’t or don’t want to talk about it with your spouse is a form of wanting their emotional intimacy over your own spouse’s.

To read more signs of an emotional affairs, do a search on the blog or follow this link to “Signs of an emotional affair”.