Catch Cheating Spouse With Cellphone Trackers

One of the most effective ways to catch a cheating spouse, or to monitor your children’s activities when they are away from home, is a cellphone tracker. In this article we will discuss the different types of cellphone monitoring devices, and which type would best fulfill your needs. This is a generic guide that should help you decide what type of cell phone tracker to get while you are researching, there is no direct product being talked about. Direct product recommendations will be in the following articles.

Before continuing on with the article, please be advised that the laws on monitoring an individual’s cell phone differs from state to state. Please do your own research, I won’t give you legal advice or list down every single law for every state here. If you are caught spying on your cheating spouse, they CAN sue you depending on where you live. As far as installing monitoring devices on YOUR OWN PROPERTY, that is not illegal at all. Most companies do this with their company cars and cellphones to protect them from theft.

 

Types of Cell Phone Trackers

Moving on, there are two types of cell phone spies, the older hardware based devices, and the newer software based cell phone trackers, the difference between the two are colossal. If you have little cash to spare, I would recommend the hardware based cell trackers. You will need complete physical access to the phone you want to monitor though, before you get to spy on it. But before you do, don’t forget to try out one of the software based DEMOs. Software in my opinion is superior in every single way.

cell phone spy

Is your spouse having an affair via cell phone?

Hardware Based Cellphone Trackers

The older cellphone spies are basically just simcard readers. Simcard readers, as the name implies, read simcards for data that will be transferred into your PC/laptop via USB. The data will depend on the type of simcard reader, and age of phone, but most likely you will be able to view text messages from the simcard, and read phonebook details, without knowing the actual password of the simcard. Some cardreaders may even allow you to read deleted text messages. These hardware based cell phone trackers will not go above $50, the requirements for these to work on your phone is that you have to have a simcard based phone, and you need physical access to the simcard. If you can’t physically take a part the phone and insert the simcard into the simcard reader, you won’t be able to access the data.

Software Based Cellphone Trackers

Now for the software based cellphone spies, there is almost unlimited potential to what they can do. I’ll label the most common types you can buy as cellphone tracker 1,2, and 3 for simplicity’s sake (there are different brands, but most follow these templates). A general trait software based cellphone trackers have in common is they are usually subscription based, and you only need to install your cellphone trackers once and you can monitor the device remotely through the internet. Also another common requirement is that the mobile phone you are monitoring should have internet access available or it won’t get to transfer the gathered phone data.

Another feature that should make you want to use software over hardware is that they usually offer a FREE cell phone tracker demo, or offer the actual software without limitations for 30-60 days with a money back seal.

How cellphone trackers work

Cellphone tracker 1

This is typically used for monitoring sms messages, exclusively. Text trackers (for software based mobile phone spies only) will allow you to monitor messages that are sent and received, whether or not they are still currently in the phone or have been deleted. Cost of this type of tracker is no more than $5 per month. Well worth the subscription fee if your spouse or children text a lot. I would save up more cash and go for the next type, because this lacks the GPS tracker that we want to monitor our cellphone’s location.

Cellphone tracker 2

This is a step up because it adds image and video tracking to its list of features. The added storage bumps this subscription up to $10-15 per month. This type of tracker will usually come with GPS tracking as well as the basic SMS trackers (like cell phone tracker 1). This is the cellphone tracker I recommend and use on my kids phones. Too bad I never knew they existed when I was having infidelity problems. (the internet was still a baby back then). Image and video tracking is simply the ability to download images and video sent or received on the phone you installed the tracker on. The reason why we should use this instead of tracker 1 or 3 is because it combines sms tracking, with GPS tracking, without all the non-sense tracker 3 has (also the cost difference is huge). So if you want to track a cellphone location, just log in to your software’s website and check on the exact location of your cellphone via google maps. The software should

Cellphone tracker 3

This is just plain 007 spy stuff. This is something I will never recommend because it costs $50-100+ PER month. The features are overkill and should not be used if your only goal is only to catch your spouse cheating, or monitor your children’s cellphone activities. The typical features of these cell phone surveillance monsters are everything tracker 1 and 2 can do, plus “silent calling”, and “threeway call spying”. “Silent calling” is just what it sounds like, calling a cell phone without making the phone ring or display that a call is in progress. It basically makes your spouse’s cellphone act like a microphone, similar to what the FBI did with a criminal investigation case against the mafia[1]. “Three way call spying” is when you know your spouse is using the cellphone, and call it with another phone so you can listen in on their conversation. Some even go as far as faking the phone’s “off” status, meaning your phone won’t be truly turned off until you remove the battery.

All of those features are overkill, and trust me there’s tons more like those, such as forced picture taking to make a spy camera out of your cell phone. The only thing we will ever need is tracking a cellphone’s location via GPS, and monitoring their texting and internet activities. We want to know they are cheating by gathering incontrovertible evidence(via GPS location data and SMS messages), not create a full feature film documentary about the affair. Everything you will ever need is a cell phone tracker like type 2. If you can’t afford the type 2 tracker with image and video, try and find a type 1 tracker with a gps tracker function. The video and image tracking of type 2 isn’t a necessity, it’s just an extra bonus since most of the cell phone spies like type 2 already have it. But if you can find a type 1 with GPS location, you’re set and that’s all you will ever need.

 

Why Is A Cell Phone Tracker The Best Way To Catch A Cheating Spouse?

Out of all the methods and gadgets listed on the “How To Catch A Cheating Spouse” page, this is the one I recommend the most and here are a few reasons why :

It’s extremely cheap for the value it brings

If you think about it, the alternatives do not match up. Keyloggers? All you will be able to do is monitor ONE computer with a hardware based keylogger, and several computers or laptops with a software based keylogger. With a cell phone tracker you can not only track the text messages they are sending and receiving, you will also be able to see their/the cellphones exact location via google maps, IN REAL TIME (meaning the location is updated every 5-60 minutes, not days). Depending on what spyware for cellphones you choose, you may also monitor the pictures and videos that are accessible on your target’s phone. The only advantage the keylogger has is it is cheaper, and does not require a subscription. In the product recommendations article I’ll make in the future, I’ll show you what type of tracker I use that is a one time payment, cellphone spy software like I described above (type 2). Cell phone tracker vs Private Eye, of course the private eye will be a one stop full solution, they’re professionals! But considering the price, it’s thousands of dollars vs less than a hundred dollars a year. If you have the cash to burn, private investigators are great, but if you don’t, nothing beats a cellphone spy.

Cellphone trackers with GPS function gets us incontrovertible evidence

Another important aspect of using a mobile phone tracker is there is no lying your way out of the GPS tracker data. When selecting your cell spy, make sure it’s Google friendly. “Google cell phone tracker” does not mean it’s a tracker created by Google (Google doesn’t make cell phone trackers fyi), it just means that their GPS tracking feature is powered by Google. You’ll know if it’s powered by Google by checking the features of your selected phone spy and looking at the screen shots of their GPS features, or logging into a demo account. Why Google Maps? Because Google Maps is so powerful it will actually let you do a number of things with the data given, such as give you exact directions to get to that location from your location, view that location’s images (stored in Google), and view nearby webcams if there are any available. You will also be able to download the data given to you by your chosen cell spy company into CSV format and keep them locally on your computer. In the main catch a cheating spouse article I talk about saving all your data online by using a free blogger.com blog that is set to private for added security. Can’t let the cheater know you are on to them or they will clean up their act and hide their tracks better.

Remotely Check Your Target Cellphone

A huge advantage over keyloggers, hardware based simcard readers, and hidden cameras. Once you’ve installed your phone tracker you never have to touch the target phone ever again to monitor the device. The simple picture above shows you what the process is like once installed. The target mobile phone sends the data to the webserver, then the webserver is accessible from any computer or laptop you own that has an internet connection. That is why software based cellphone spies have subscription fees, you are basically renting the server space from the companies that provide the service. The advantage of remotely checking your mobile phone is enough reason to pay for the subscription fee, because remotely does not just mean you can check on it if your spouse is at the neighbor’s house or at work, remotely means you can check on your spouse’s mobile phone ANYWHERE in the world as long as it has access to an internet connection. Without an internet connection, don’t even buy a cell spy, the software won’t be able to feed the webserver the data it’s gathered on your target’s phone.

GPS car trackers are limited, Cellphone trackers with GPS features are not

When using a GPS car tracker (these are usually subscription based as well, but a whole lot cheaper), you are limited to knowing only where your car or vehicle is, with a cellphone tracker with the built in GPS tracking feature, you will be able to track your spouse’s location no matter where they are as long as they have their mobile phone with them. Another thing that makes the cellphone alternative more flexible is you can use an old (or cheap) cellphone that no one is using, or you got for a bargain, and turn it into just a GPS device that you can attach to cars or luggage.

You will know if your spouse is “sexting”

Cheaters often wonder “is sexting cheating?”, obviously the answer would be yes. Anytime you are sexually intimate with another person, you are cheating on your partner. A cellphone spy will give you that undeniable data that you will be able to use when confronting your cheating spouse. It may be in the form of plain SMS text messages, or your spouse may be sending adult sexting videos, a “cellphone tracker 2” will be able to serve you both these types of data. If your spouse somehow manages to lie their way out of image or video evidence of their sexting affairs, they should receive an award and be offered a job as a spy. There’s no way anyone can lie their way out of image and video evidence, that is irrefutable.

Internet activities are logged

If your spouse uses the mobile phone over the pc or laptop for browsing the internet, you will have no other choice in monitoring their internet activities other than a cellphone tracker 2 type software. You’ll see sites they visit, and even emails sent from mobile phones. The image and video transfers that occur (from the internet, to target cellphone) will also work here, not just for sms messages.

“Setting Traps” article works perfectly with cellphone spies

In the “setting traps” article we talk about all the common traps you can set to detect cheating signs. These traps work even better with cellphone trackers with gps support. You could tell your spouse that you have no way back home from your parent’s house, and will come back home next week or whatever. Give them a lot of free time, and then ask them daily whether or not they left the house, and if they did, where did they go. With the GPS function, you will be able to track exactly where they were, and what time they were there. Most quality products have an archive page that lists the location at set intervals (every 30-60 minutes). You can also remotely check up on who they text and who they call.

Use the unknown numbers you’ve found and run a reverse phone lookup

Even the cheapest cell phone trackers have the feature that lets you view all numbers on the target phone. Lookup any numbers you aren’t familiar with, you can try googling them first before doing a reverse phone lookup. Cellphone tracker 2 type software should let you view call details and duration, as long as text message details. Use the phone numbers they call/text the most often either google them, or run a reverse phone lookup.

 

Additional Information

1. http://news.cnet.com/FBI-taps-cell-phone-mic-as-eavesdropping-tool/2100-1029_3-6140191.html

Emotional Affairs

What are emotional affairs?

Emotional affairs are relationships formed by individuals who are already in a monogamous relationship (married or long term relationship), but start or maintain another relationship that involves emotional intimacy with a different partner. These new relationships could start out merely as plain friendship, but slowly end up turning into emotional affairs. A relationship can be considered an emotional affair when the details of your conversation are too intimate that it would normally be only appropriate to talk about it with your significant other.

According to Dr. Shirley P. Glass, an infidelity expert, psychologist, and a licensed family and marriage therapist, women are more prone to have emotional affairs than men, and men are more prone to the regular physical affair, where emotions are not the main root cause of infidelity. In a study done by Dr. Glass, she notes that the women who have had extramarital emotional affairs were more unsatisfied with their marriage compared to their male counterparts, and both sexes who have had sexual affairs were both equally more unsatisfied than those who have just had emotional affairs.

It is also noted in Dr. Glass’ book, “Not Just Friends”,  that 57% of wives and 44% of husbands that had affairs said they had strong emotional intimacy with their new partners, but withheld any physical intimacy. This emotional affair statistic maybe misleading because people who take surveys are not always honest with themselves, or with the interviewer. The fact is that if an emotional affair goes on for long enough, eventually the two people in that affair will become so comfortable the relationship may transcend into the realm of physical intimacy.

The leap from being comfortable talking about intimate details to meeting each other and talking about it in real life may take awhile. But the point of meeting each other to having your first kiss, could just be around the corner, and from then on, everything speeds up leading to more physical intimacy. The truth is, people think that talking about intimate details with someone other than your spouse is not a threat. Most people think having regular interactions on the internet with a person of the opposite sex is not going to affect your real life relationship because “we’re just talking. Trust me, once you get comfortable enough, you will want to meet this person in real life. Those having emotional affairs with people they already know in real life, that is even more dangerous because you have constant contact with that person. This is how my ex-wife and I broke up, she was developing a relationship(secretly) with another man she met in an online forum. They eventually met up in real life and I did not even find out about that until several months after I found out that they were chatting on line.

 

Emotional Affair Statistics.

What bother men and women more, emotional or physical infidelity?

emotional affair

Women are more prone to emotional affairs than men.

In a study done by Dr. Christine R. Harris, statistics show that out of 137 subjects(55 male, 87 female) most of them put more weight on emotional infidelity rather than physical infidelity. Out of 87 females, 12% said they care more about physical infidelity, and 88% said they care more about emotional infidelity. Out of 55 males, 47% said they care more about physical infidelity, 53% said they care more about emotional infidelity.

The statistics provided by Dr. Harris’ research seem to make it clear that men are equally bothered by both, and women are far more bothered by emotional infidelity. Now you know why your wife seems to be “overly” jealous when you flirt, or react positively to a women who flirts with you.

 

What is considered emotional cheating?

Deception

You may have experienced this yourself, telling your partner you are doing one thing, but really you are spending time with someone of the opposite sex. This is a form of emotional cheating, twist it however way you want to, it still is emotional cheating. There is no reason for you to ever lie to your spouse about who you are with and what you are doing unless it’s something you know they will disagree with. If you are deceiving your spouse, you are cheating on them emotionally. Sure once or twice it may not feel wrong, but it is. Continue on doing that and you will be on your way to a disastrous marriage. Pray your spouse never tries to track your actions or spy on you, because your stories will be full of holes.

Betraying marriage values

Another way to emotionally cheat on your spouse. Telling someone of the opposite sex about intimate details of your relationship is considered emotional cheating. If you can not talk about something with your everyday regular friends, you should not talk about it with anyone else other than your spouse. Talking about how terrible and miserable you are in a relationship with someone who isn’t your wife or husband is a major form of betrayal.

Devoting extra time to the other person

When you get home from work or whenever you have extra time, you choose to spend this on the internet chatting with your new friend instead of doing what your spouse wants to do, this is another form of emotional cheating. You are putting the needs of this other person before the needs of the person you are married to at the same time lying to them about who you are talking with online. Texting and having phone conversations with a person of the opposite sex also is the same thing, emotional cheating.

Secret Friends

Do you have a friend that your spouse does not know exists? Is this friend of the opposite sex? This “secret friendship” could blossom into an emotional affair if you continue to let it grow, without your spouse’s knowledge. You’ll know when it’s getting “serious” when you start sharing intimate details of your relationship with your spouse to this new person. It may start simply by you talking about your day, and tell them things you left out when you were talking to your spouse. You may even try to justify it as “at least he/she won’t judge me” or “my husband/wife doesn’t care about it”, or it could be that you are subconsciously wanting to make your relationship with your new partner stronger by having conversations that only you two share.

When you can tell, or feel like you can tell anything to that one specific person, but you can’t or don’t want to talk about it with your spouse is a form of wanting their emotional intimacy over your own spouse’s.

To read more signs of an emotional affairs, do a search on the blog or follow this link to “Signs of an emotional affair”.

How To Catch A Cheating Spouse

Do you already know that your spouse is cheating on you? Just need to be a hundred percent sure before you take action on your relationship? In this article we will list down ways on how you can catch your spouse cheating. Before you read this, you may want to also read signs of a cheating spouse. Below is a general overview on what tools and methods we have at our disposal, follow the relevant links for a more detailed article on each method described. This section will be updated whenever something new has been found that can help us catch a cheating spouse, your suggestions are more than welcome (use the form linked above or leave it in the comments).

Please do your own research on state laws regarding the use of spy tools to monitor someone else’s conversations. I will not be responsible for providing legal advice for you, when in doubt contact a private investigator or divorce attorney.

A quick tip to keep the data that you have gathered secure, we never want cheaters to know we are on to them, is to start a free blogger.com blog and set it to invitation only. That way no one but you can access the things you have written. What I would do is list down every cheating sign I observed from my cheating spouse and the results of using the following methods and gadgets.

 

Ways to catch a cheating spouse

1.Cell Phone Trackers

Have you ever heard of these? These are programs which you install on your cellphones and have it collect data for you. That data is then sent to a server via the internet which you can access through your home computer or laptop. After manual installation on your phone, you can then leave these cell phone spies alone and just remotely access the data. Most of these work for all the latest mobile phones and the quality ones are always made to be undetectable. Their price ranges from $10 dollars a month, to $60 dollars per quarter. Very affordable, very effective. A top pick for catching a spouse who always has a mobilephone handy. We will not be talking about remotely activated mobilephones[1], those are costly and should not be recommended to anyone who is not a professional spy. It is also illegal to monitor other people’s mobile phones, you should only monitor a phone that you own. What we will talk about are cellphone spies that have text monitoring services as well as GPS trackers. Read the full Cell Phone Tracker article.

2. Keyloggershow to catch a cheating spouse

Keyloggers are devices or software that monitor keystrokes on your computer, which is called keystroke logging[2]. Keyloggers can be useful to you if your suspected cheater is on the computer or laptop a lot (nowadays, who isn’t). The only downside to this method of catching a spouse is that laptops have no other option other than using software keyloggers which you need to install because it wouldn’t make sense to add a hardware keylogger onto a  laptop. A hardware keylogger is more suitable for desktop computers. It is a small device that needs no installation, other than physically inserting it into your keyboard slot located at the back of the CPU. Downside of the hardware keylogger vs the software keylogger is storage space. With hardware keyloggers you are allotted a certain amount of space depending on the type of keylogger used. Software keyloggers make use of the computer or laptops own storage space, so the difference is immense considering hardware keyloggers only reach up to 12 gigabytes and start costing upwards of $50. Please remember that you should never monitor a laptop or computer that is not yours. Read the full Catch a cheating spouse with Keyloggers article.

3. GPS

Or Global Positioning Systems[3], is a way of tracking a device remotely from your pc or laptop. These devices are commonly attached to cars, but recent cellphone spies are so advanced that they have added this functionality to their software. The commonly found GPS devices will let you monitor the device using Google Maps, which makes it a very very powerful tool. Google Maps even allow you to view webcams located in those areas, and get the complete directions to get to that area, from a chosen area of origin (your home for example). The most solid way of busting the lies told to you by your spouse. No more 5 hour long shopping trips, GPS devices will tell you exactly where their went and for how long. Again, this should never be used to track a car that you do not own. It is illegal to GPS track anything but your own property. Read the full GPS Vehicle Tracking Devices article.

4. Reverse Phone Lookups

Also called Reverse telephone directory[4], is a service that lets you track a phone number, be it cellphone or home phone. You can now reverse phone lookup those unknown numbers that keep calling you! The downside is, some people can pay to get removed off of the reverse phone lookup database. Ever wonder how that telemarketer got your phone number? They used the reverse telephone directory. So if you want your details kept off, you’ll have to pay a fee. Another downside is that you will have to pay a fee to access full reports, I have not found a website that offers reverse phone lookups for free. The common details provided are Phone owner’s full name, address, what type of phone (cellphone or landline), and other associated phone numbers. Read the full Reverse Phone Lookups article.

5. Image Tracking

This is simply a search engine, for pictures. Something that is fairly new technology. It’s not the same as google that you type words, instead you show the search engine images. It also may be referred to as Content-Based Image Retrieval (CBIR)[5]. This is useful if you want to run your spouse’s pictures on a CBIR database to see where those pictures are listed on the internet. There is no fee for this service. There are however, limitation. For example, you find your spouse’s picture and they are with an unknown person who they won’t tell you about so you decide to do a search. You will not find that picture online if that picture is saved somewhere on Facebook or Multiply or any other type of social site that is set to private. Only public websites work, and as of now there are no CBIR companies that are big enough (say like google), who scan the entire internet. Read the full Reverse Image Tracking article

6. Video Surveillance Equipment

Hidden cameras are another effective solution to cheaters who have “visitors” at home while you are away. There are different types of surveillance equipment, and the hidden cameras are a little bit on the expensive side ($100+). What you’ll want to use is something that is small, and motion activated so you do not have to risk running out of storage for capturing video (and audio if you choose). This method has been made famous by a hit TV series called “Cheaters”, with Joey Greco.

7. Private investigators

Private eyes are the last thing you should consider if you do not have the cash. They are the most expensive way to catch a cheating spouse, but they are also the most reliable way. All you do is pay, and they will have every tool described here and more to track and document your cheating spouse’s activities. It is not uncommon to receive a bill of $3k or more for hiring a P.I. to track someone out of town for several days. A private investigator may also provide assistance to your attorney in civil cases such as helping you get child custody, premarital screening, and proving whether or not your spouse is cheating on your or not[6].

8. Setting traps

Something often overlooked, setting simple “traps” can help tell us if there are things going on in our home when we are away. A trap can be as simple as putting a thin see through tape at the back end of your toilet seat. If you are expecting no one to be home, and you apply this toilet seat trap, the most likely situation you would walk into when you get home is the tape would still be there. But if that tape is broken, you’ll know someone has been in your bathroom. Simple, free, effective. Read the full Free Ways To Catch Your Cheating Spouse article.

 

Other Ways To Catch A Cheating Spouse That Is –NOT– Recommended

1. Lie Detector Tests

These are not just expensive, they’re subjective as well. The will of the examiner and how nervous the person taking the test is what will determine whether or not they will look guilty or innocent according to the lie detector. People react differently when lying, and lie detector test examiners have different approaches in “controlling” your response. Lie detectors are not even supported by the scientific community. Trickery, not science, is what is used to get the “truth” out of you. If you would like to find out more about why a lie detectors should never be used, read this book “The Lie Behind The Lie Detector“[7] by George W. Maschke and Gino J. Scalabrini from antipolygraph.org

2. Impersonation

Calling up credit card companies, banks, phone companies, internet service providers and pretending to be someone you’re not is impersonation, or if you do it online it’s called Phishing[8]. Say for example you found out the identity of the person your spouse is cheating on you with, then you use his or her name and pretend to be them in order to phish information, you can and most probably will get sued if they find out about it. Stick to watching for signs of cheating and focusing on your own spouse. Leave the other person alone, avoid all interaction unless you are going to confront them with legally acquired proof that they have been cheating with your spouse.

 

Additional Information

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covert_listening_device#Remotely_activated_mobile_phone_microphones
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keystroke_logging
3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_Positioning_System
4. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reverse_telephone_directory
5. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image_retrieval#Search_methods
6. http://www.bls.gov/oco/ocos157.htm#nature
7. http://www.antipolygraph.org/lie-behind-the-lie-detector.pdf
8. http://kb.iu.edu/data/arsf.html#explained

Signs Of A Cheating Spouse

signs of a cheating spouseYour spouse is cheating on you, or at least that’s what the voice in the back of your head is saying. Are you being paranoid, or have you just really been observing some typical signs of a cheating spouse? When you have been together with your spouse or life partner for a significant amount of time, you start picking up on their subtle “tell tale” signs of lying, or “stress reactions”. It’s easy to tell when your spouse is trying to deceive you. But what if you’re spouse is such a terrific liar they show no signs of cheating at all?  Maybe you are just too trusting and would never expect them to lie to you, or even worse, cheat on you. It happens all the time. I’m sure you have stories of your own that you’ve heard from friends, family members, co-workers about people they know who seemed like they were so perfect for each other, but then had infidelity problems. You never thought that could happen to you? Here’s some advice on cheating signs based on our experiences(my own, my spouse, my friends, and other reader contributions). If you would like to contribute your own to this list, feel free to do so in the comments. It’s anonymous, we don’t require any personal information from you.

Cheating Signs

In no particular order, these are some common Signs of Cheating :

I want to look more attractive

Since when has your spouse had a sudden urge to go to the gym? Does your husband go to the gym? Does your wife want to stay slim? What reason would they have other than trying to attract, or wanting to impress the opposite sex. If you’ve been together for several years, and now is the only time your spouse has ever done this, and gave you no reason at all except for “I felt like it”, this should look suspicious to you. Some cheating spouses may use this new found “gym” time to be an excuse to be out of the house for several hours without worrying you, or looking suspicious. For women, this could mean an increase in buying new clothing, more revealing than the usual clothes they wear. For men, it could be as simple as grooming their facial hair, getting a new haircut. Things to watch out for are sudden changes that they can’t explain, not a major red flag but still useful to keep track of.

The 5 hour shopping trip

This is common among women. You know how your wife shops for hours and hours, and you stay home, then she comes back with tons of shopping bags or groceries? When this happens and she comes back with little to no shopping bags or groceries, can’t show you a receipt, something is wrong. Applies to both husband wife, the 5 hour shopping trip is a very weak excuse to give your spouse, and is an obvious sign of deception. You can easily tell if they are lying when they can’t explain why it took 5 hours. Trusting spouses will usually believe “window shopping” or “I ran into a friend”. If this happens too often, you better do some investigating. Obvious signs that they are lying is they are “dressed to impress” and heading out for a simple “trip to the grocery”.

First stop, shower

Another common cheating sign. When a spouse gets home, don’t they usually look for their spouse and give them attention? Most of the time when my hubby gets home, he heads straight for me, then the kitchen, then back to me and we chat a little before we eat dinner. If you and your spouse have similar rituals as me and my spouse do, it will certainly seem out of place when your spouse just yells “I’m home!” and heads straight for the bathroom. Cheating spouses do this in order to fully inspect themselves for any traces of infidelity on their clothing, and themselves. Washing the guilt away is just as easy as taking a shower for some cold blooded liars.

Tolerates flirts or acts flirty

Having been together with your spouse for some time now, you know exactly how they act towards people who flirt with them, or try to hit on them. If your wife used to ignore people that try to flirt with her, or even scold them, but now you notice her laugh and “play along”, then you should be suspicious. Same goes for husbands who initiate the flirting. Both tolerating flirts, and initiating flirts are not acceptable behaviors in a regular marriage. If you are married, the only person you flirt with your spouse. Some people may have an open relationship, where both parties agree to open flirting, but if this happens to you and you don’t have an agreement that you can flirt with other people of the opposite sex, your mate may be looking for another.

“Do we have toooo?”

If you have a kid, you most likely have heard this line several times already. This is the general attitude of someone who does not want to be part of what is happening right now, and wants to do something else. If your spouse shows the same reluctance when you want to do something together, you may have competition for your spouse’s attention. You notice when your spouse gets home from whatever it is you wanted to do, they either never let it down how much they hated it or were bored, or they immediately head to the computer. Which leads me to the next sign..

Technologically hooked

Cheaters often use cellphones, computers, and laptops to communicate with each other. This is both an advantage and a disadvantage to them. It’s so easy to monitor these devices using  cellphone spies, keyloggers, or even GPS trackers. But you don’t need those if you notice your spouse immediately comes home, and heads straight for the computer. Hides the screen from you. Always has a cellphone in their hand. Try and asking who they are communicating with, and they’ll usually say it’s no one, it’s just a friend, or some other diversion tactics they may have up their sleeves. If you don’t know who they are talking to, you should find out. Find out as soon as you can, waiting for problems to fix themselves is never good. I learned this from my mother, who was also cheated on by my father when they were in their mid 40-s. The affair lasted close to a year and she had NO idea until she observed some of the signs I am now describing here. This next one is one of the biggest signs that helped her. But a GPS Tracker on his cellphone is what gave her 100% undeniable proof of cheating. My mother is brave and she actually tailed the GPS tracker with her car.

Inappropriate jokes about cheating

This is what my father started doing when he was having an affair. Maybe in his arrogant mind, he thought he was sort of “confessing”, or maybe he was just trying to lighten the guilt of cheating on his wife of 20 years. He used to make vague excuses, and as he was about to leave my mother would ask “where are you headed off to?” “to my other woman”, he’d say, and other times similar, dirtier versions of that. At first my mom just laughed it off, because this was how their relationship was, a lot of kidding around and fooling each other. She most likely put it all together when his drinking buddies never mentioned their poker games anymore, and his paycheck never increased with all the out of town business trips. He still continued with the inappropriate jokes about cheating on her though until they fought about it and she said it wasn’t funny anymore.

In bed: Complete shut out, or the exact opposite

This would depend on your current, or lack thereof, sexual relationship. Sometimes a cheater will want nothing to do with you in bed, saving themselves for their new found mate. Other times it could be the complete polar opposite of that, and the cheater becomes experimentative. Trying new things they could have learned from their new partner. I personally never experienced the latter, it was just mostly cold silence in the bedroom aside from the TV. Other people often experience the latter, which is why they are more surprised to find out their spouse has been cheating because they think having regular relations in the bedroom means their partners needs are fully sated.

Did you use to share everything? Not anymore

You used to know your spouse’s email passwords, bank account PINs, facebook account passwords etc, but they suddenly changed it without telling you why or giving you a reason. This sudden need for privacy should alarm you. Maybe if you are not in a serious relationship yet, it’s fine, but if you are married, it’s suspicious. Couples who have been together long enough know and share everything about themselves. Hiding email or conversations on the internet is a big red flag if they can’t give you a reasonable explanation for their sudden need of privacy.

The classic contraception situation

You had a surgery (vasectomy, tubal ligation) to stop you from having any accidental pregnancies, but you found some condoms, morning after pills, or other form of contraception in your car or in an article of clothing from your spouse. This obviously is going to shock you because your spouse most likely knows about your surgery, and knows you don’t need any form of birth control anymore. Obviously a cheater would lie by saying the usual lines like “it’s not mine, its my friend’s!” “Jesus you are so paranoid, *name* must have accidentally left it here” or some other cliche excuse. So before asking your spouse whose is it, try and bait them first and find out if they’ve had any other people ride with them, then show the contraception.

I’m not a lover, I’m a fighter!

Fighting become a common thing in your relationship? Do you and your husband or wife fight over inane things, and end up in a yelling competition over who left the toilet seat up? Stupid little things turning into a full blown fight may just be another excuse they are looking for to leave the house! Especially if it’s always them starting the fights. If this inane fighting is becoming a weekly occurrence, resulting in your spouse having a reason to “cool off” away from you, and your home, next time you fight try doing the opposite. DON’T fight back and just agree, that should cut their excuse to leave. If they keep prodding and trying to find a reason to “cool off”, you know something’s wrong.

“Nah, it’ll bore you to death where I work”

In other words, “Nah, I don’t want you to see me and how I interact with a certain someone from work”. Wouldn’t you want your spouse picking you up from work, or paying you a visit when you have free time? Like lunch for example. If you suspect your spouse cheating with a workmate, try asking them out on a lunch date and say you’ll be around the area. Of course you’ll have to be around the area to make it look like you’re not trying to spy on them. Typical reaction would of a cheater would be to fire off another cliche “I’m too busy honey, I can’t” “I’ll be doing something at lunch” “I already have a lunch meeting” “We can do it some other time”.

Working for free

Not really working for free, but that’s what it seems like when your spouse says they have overtime, extra work, a new project but never show a cent earned from their extracurricular activities. Unless, obviously, if your spouse volunteers for charities. If your spouse volunteers for charities, and never really talks about it in detail when you ask, you have almost no chance of really finding out the truth unless you yourself join the charity. If you offer to help, and your spouse reacts negatively, then that is a sign of deception, and should raise red flags. Get yourself involved!

Guilt driven niceness

You for no reason getting random gifts from your spouse? Is he suddenly sweeter, or takes you out to dinner? Does she cook your favorite meal, or offer to give you a massage? Sometimes that’s what a cheater does to convince themselves that what they are doing is okay because “I love my spouse, the other person is just for fun” in their mind justifies their actions. Being nice to you is somehow equated to “loving” you, while cheating on you is equated to “just fun” for them, and not massive disrespect to you and your relationship.

“I can hear you breathing you psycho!”

Getting more and more callers that don’t answer when you pickup? A classic, seen in almost any movie that has some infidelity going on. If you get random phone calls that don’t answer when you pickup, but your spouse never does, it could mean it’s their cheat partner calling them. Think about this, when was the actual last time you have received a wrong number? Normally, I probably get at most two to three wrong numbers in a year! If it’s happening once a month, you might have someone after your spouse.

Phone bill fluctuations

Getting long distance charges? Repeated midnight phone calls, which they deny or say “I can’t remember who, I don’t think I called anyone” or something similar is an obvious sign of cheating. You better confront them after this, since you already have solid undeniable proof that they are lying. A good cheater will not use the house phone, or even the cellphone. They will use skype or something similar to keep in contact with their cheat partner. Cellphones nowadays are common and cheap, so don’t be surprised if you find some hidden cellphones that are being used behind your back.

Monthly spending trends, skyrocketing

Being in a relationship, you both share financial details with each other so it’s easy to spot this. If you suspect your spouse of cheating, keep track of their monthly spendings and I can almost guarantee that a cheater will always have their spendings go higher and higher. This was true for my mom, and it was true for myself. My father spent an awful lot more money on gas and other things that were left unexplained. Since my mom loved(still does actually) him so much, she just trusted him. My ex-husband did not spend an awful lot more on gas, but he did spend on hotel rooms which I found out by look at the credit card bills. Even if he lied about it, I had verifiable evidence in form of the bills, and his exact GPS location. Even without the GPS device, it would have been obvious that he was cheating because of the bills alone. He sealed his own grave because I baited him and he said he was at a friend’s house and was too drunk to drive home. He has no friends who own hotels.

Missing wedding ring

Seems like this is a no brainer, right? Removing the wedding ring when pursuing other men/women is the typical thing a cheating spouse would do. But there are some people who keep the wedding ring on, and for some reason this heightens the thrill of their affair. Also some women have a silly belief that when a man is married already, they are somehow better in bed. This is a stupid belief, it’s as simple as this: you are GREEDY. You want something you can’t have and don’t care who you have to step on to get what you want.

I’m going to the gym, time to pack my mini skirt

When your spouse, husband or wife, packs clothing, try to check on or offer to help them pack. Sometimes you’ll see them packing things that really do not fit in to where they are supposedly going. Mini skirt being packed when going to the gym? Semi formal clothes being packed in the trunk of your car for a supposed “fishing trip” with the guys? Doesn’t add up. If you find sexy lingerie packed in your wife’s business trip baggage, you better confront her!

The car does not lie

There are so many ways to make the car “speak”. You can check the seat position (both passenger and driver seat), has it been moved from where it normally should be? Yes? Possible cheating, but unlikely cause most passengers move those seats anyway. Millage of your car, this is vital. If you already have that feeling that your spouse is cheating, along with monitoring their monthly spendings, start monitoring the millage they use every day, week, or month. Another verifiable evidence coupled with spending on gas money. There are also certain tests (semen test kits) that you can purchase online that you could possibly use on your car’s seats.

Like animals, we are programmed to have routines

Any sudden change in routine with no real story to back up why they changed their routine could mean they are trying to hide something. A cheating spouse changes routines suddenly, a loving spouse will change routines WITH you and give you a reason for it. Like exercising for example, a cheating spouse would just one day tell you “I’m off to the gym” with no prior notice besides that day they they were planning to go to the gym. A normal, loyal spouse will try to convince you to join them, so both of you can start getting fitter and live healthier lives together. Another example would be shopping, cheating spouse: “I’m going shopping, be back soon”, loyal spouse: “Lets go shopping, I want to show you something I like”.

Because my gut says so

One of the best signs your spouse could be cheating on you, is your own intuition telling you it could be a possibility. Who knows your spouse better than you yourself, right? All the tools and signs of cheating we discuss in this site to catch a cheating spouse is only used for confirming your beliefs, helping you spot more lies, and collecting evidence. The initial feeling you got that your spouse could be cheating is what drove you here, looking for confirmation based on other people’s experience. That is the biggest red flag of all, if YOU think your spouse is cheating, you probably might be dead on.

 

Before You Confront a Cheater

Observe The Suspected Cheater

Cheating spouses signs should NOT be the basis for you to confront your husband or wife regarding an affair. This is just anti cheating advice and should serve as a guideline to help you detect an affair, not as your “proof”. We always recommend that you back up your accusations before you even think of confronting a cheater. A good cheater, is a good liar; don’t underestimate the things a liar will say to get out of the hot seat. Get enough irrefutable evidence of your cheating spouse, think of any excuses they may come up with and answer them with the evidence you collected.

Gather Evidence Of Infidelity

Such evidence could include transcripts you caught on your home computer via keylogger, the location of their car via GPS tracking, or other ways described in the how to catch a cheating spouse article. Your goal should be to make them admit to cheating. There’s no way that anyone can argue their way out of data gathered from a GPS tracker, or a mobile phone tracker, and most probably if you do not have any evidence they will just accuse you of being paranoid and blame you for everything. If you do have evidence of an affair and they still won’t admit it, take that as a sign that the relationship may not be salvageable; don’t be delusional and think the problem will fix itself, it won’t. That may sound cruel to you, but that is how you should react. Aim for things that you can achieve, not things that you want to happen. If your spouse wants to lie and continue to cheat, there is nothing you can do about it, it’s out of your control. What you can do is stop wasting your time on the liar and start finding ways to improve the quality of your life.

 

If you want to add a sign of a cheating spouse that isn’t mentioned here, feel free to leave a comment. We don’t track you, or ask for any personal information, you can be as anonymous as you want to be.