What I did after i caught my cheating wife

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Kris 5 years, 3 months ago.

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  • #553

    Anti

    i posted a rather long topic about my cheating wife and what i did to catch her, now i share what i did after catching the floozy.

    I read about staying healthy and asking for family and friends support. I had no way of doing either because 1. i had an accident as a child which busted my hip,i cant really run so exercising was out of the equation. 2. i had a falling out with family because they did not approve of my ex-wife, they were right. i paid a hefty (and boy do i mean hefty) price for going against them. since i’m too proud to come crawling back like the prodigal son, i settled for talking to my friends. most of which obviously did not give a damn. but it felt good talking to another human being. called my mom and she was devastated, guilted me and told me they were right, but devastated non the less. I still did not want to see them face to face so they could rub it in more (my father will 100% do that).

    it didn’t make the sting of infidelity any better though. im a guy and i am not ashamed to admit i cried. cried multiple times in fact. word spread around the office about what happened and here’s where a female co-worker started comforting me. i told her everything and she supported me, i even cried in front of her while telling my story and she cried together with me. im a sensitive human being, i know.

    well we started talking more and more after that until we started eating out as well. spending lunch breaks together. she even acted like a total b**** to the guy who cheated with my wife. I believe Karen is the one i will be spending my entire life with. As for quinn and the exwife, I hope they both get what they gave me. I hope she cheats on him with the mailman or something. I don’t want to think of them anymore but it’s tough. when i get the extra money i will definitely go move to a new place. i already threw away the couch and bed though.

    After only 2 months together with Karen, I was able to drop my shrink. He said I was getting better and didn’t need anti depressants anymore, and i thought if i didn’t need anti depressants anymore than i don’t need him either. I did tell him more politely then that. It feels great to find someone after going through hell.

    My suggestion to those who are in the infidelity club :

    1. Contact your family even if youve had fights with them

    2. Find someone (preferably of the opposite sex as you) to talk about your problems with. This was a huge thing for me. Talking to guys about my feelings did not help, i just got called a p***** and “man up man, you’ll find another girl”. That may work for you, but if you are more sensitive than the average guy, you should find a woman to listen to your problems. Not sure how comfortable women are speaking with other women, but I think a guy would be able to help make you feel better as a woman did for me.

    3. Throw away all the things that remind you of your ex spouse. I got rid of the couch, bed, all her things, and even the expensive watch she gave me for our anniversary that she saved up for. If there was a delete button in life you should put all her things in the recycle bin and delete!

    4. Do not be ashamed to see a shrink. i can honestly say he, and his prescriptions, helped me a lot. Depression only gets worse the longer you leave it untreated. I believe depression is just like a virus or sickness, you have to treat it.

    5. Posting on forums help. I am a member of probably 4 infidelity forums (this one included). None of them have been short of being fantastic. As a token of my gratitude I will try and drop by all 4 forums and offer the same help that I once needed. Its like we are all in a club together, the infidelity club. A club we never wanted to be part of, but are now because of selfish people. I would like to be part of the solution, like everyone else who has shared their insights with me on what I should do.

    6. Never pray or hope your spouse comes to their senses. It’s a useless time waster. Do, not hope.

    Anti

    Admin : Please don’t curse, Anti. Lets try and keep it civil. Edited out some words :)

    #555

    Kris

    Anti said:

    My suggestion to those who are in the infidelity club :
    1. Contact your family even if youve had fights with them

     

    I would suggest talking to a friend or posting your situation here instead of forcing yourself to talk to people you don’t want to. Some people have such toxic relationships that this may cause more stress. They might rub it in, like what you said, and that’s the last thing you want, another person hurting you emotionally.

     

    2. Find someone (preferably of the opposite sex as you) to talk about your problems with. This was a huge thing for me. Talking to guys about my feelings did not help, i just got called a p***** and “man up man, you’ll find another girl”. That may work for you, but if you are more sensitive than the average guy, you should find a woman to listen to your problems. Not sure how comfortable women are speaking with other women, but I think a guy would be able to help make you feel better as a woman did for me.

     

    This worked for me as well. Mike was very comforting and I felt safe with him whenever we were together.

     

    3. Throw away all the things that remind you of your ex spouse. I got rid of the couch, bed, all her things, and even the expensive watch she gave me for our anniversary that she saved up for. If there was a delete button in life you should put all her things in the recycle bin and delete!

     

    Agreed.

     

    4. Do not be ashamed to see a shrink. i can honestly say he, and his prescriptions, helped me a lot. Depression only gets worse the longer you leave it untreated. I believe depression is just like a virus or sickness, you have to treat it.

     

    Agreed 100%

     

    5. Posting on forums help. I am a member of probably 4 infidelity forums (this one included). None of them have been short of being fantastic. As a token of my gratitude I will try and drop by all 4 forums and offer the same help that I once needed. Its like we are all in a club together, the infidelity club. A club we never wanted to be part of, but are now because of selfish people. I would like to be part of the solution, like everyone else who has shared their insights with me on what I should do.

     

    I would caution you to not join forums where there are no moderators, or basically a free for all. Simple flaming or other people trying to bring you down (because they themselves are miserable/are cheaters) might make you spiral down into depression a lot more since you are in a state of emotional trauma (when trying to survive infidelity).

     

    6. Never pray or hope your spouse comes to their senses. It’s a useless time waster. Do, not hope.

     

    Praying for some works. Religious people find strength in themselves when they pray, so it’s not all that useless to people who pray for themselves. I myself am not religious, but I can respect someone who finds strength through religion.

     

    Anti

    Admin : Please don’t curse, Anti. Lets try and keep it civil. Edited out some words :)

    Thanks for sharing Ant, my replies are in green.

    The more people we get to share, the greater this resource becomes for those who have been cheated on. That’s our goal, build a community that supports itself.

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