Signs Of An Emotional Affair

Is your spouse having an emotional affair? You can read more about emotional affairs in that article, this article will focus on the warning signs that you might observe from a husband or wife having who is emotionally cheating.

Most people, the cheaters especially, do not consider emotional affairs as real affairs, because there nothing sexual going on. In reality, most of these emotional affairs will turn into physical “real” affairs. It may even be the cause of your breakup because in physical affairs, sex is the only goal of the cheater; in emotional affairs, both their physical and emotional needs are met by their new lovers.

Emotional Affair Signs

Spouse is distant

One of the first things you may observe from a cheating spouse having an emotional affair is that they feel or seem distant. They act aloof, don’t look forward to seeing you, or just basically stop caring about anything that happens involving both of you. The closest feeling you get is the one you feel right after a fight, when they give you the could shoulder; but not severe enough to warrant a confrontation about why they are so cold towards you. A cause of an emotionally distant spouse could be having trouble deciding whether or not they want to stay in their current relationship.

Lack of emotional or physical intimacy

Another sign of emotional cheating. When your spouse loses the need for you, either physically or emotionally, that could mean someone else has stepped up to fulfill their needs. This may also be a sign of physical infidelity, especially if coupled with out of town trips, or late night over time excuses. When you notice lack of intimacy in your relationship, you need to act immediately or risk losing the bond you and your spouse have. Even if you do not suspect them of having an emotional affair, lack of intimacy is the cause of “falling out of love” that we hear about so often in the media (and for most women, that’s Oprah).

Overly suspicious about YOU cheating

If there’s one thing cheaters are great at, it’s misdirection, and this is one of the most common ways cheaters divert your suspicions away from things that could get their affairs caught. I’m sure everyone has experienced this in their lives, when someone who is guilty of something suddenly accuses you of doing what they are guilty off. Cheaters are hypocrites, I’m sure you know that if you’ve ever had to deal with one. My ex-wife once told me that if I kept coming home late, she’ll install a GPS tracker on my car. She actually did, and I let her, because I had nothing to fear.

Defensive about everything

Whether or not you know of their affairs, asking them a simple question like “Where were you last night? I didn’t catch you going in” will drive them to be completely defensive. This overly defensive manner they put up when they answer you is caused by the guilt; something that is common with cheating spouses who have just started an affair – be it emotional or physical. Like being overly suspicious, overly defensive cheaters will become irritated, and play the victim card for the sole purpose of misdirection.

Having a secret friend of the opposite sex

Doesn’t matter if it’s online, or “in real life”, having a secret friend is a sign of an emotional affair, or an emotional affair waiting to happen. I don’t know why most people say “in real life” when differentiating something online, and something on the computer; it’s still both in real life, it’s just a different form of communication. As far as I’m concerned, emotionally cheating on the computer is the same thing as having an emotional affair with a workmate. There’s no reason to keep a friend secret from your spouse unless you have something to hide.  If you find out about your spouse keeping someone from you, do a little more snooping and check to see what their relationship is like. If they treat each other in a way normal friends do, it’s fine; if you find out they are close and share intimate details they would normally be reserved for their spouses, there might be an emotional affair brewing on the horizon.

Arguing more than usual

It’s healthy to argue once in a while, we’re humans, we don’t agree with each other every time. But if you notice that you are fighting and arguing a lot more over unimportant things, or menial tasks, you might be dealing with an emotional affair. This is another way for liars to misdirect your attention; it could be to get some alone time in another room while they call or chat with the person they are having an emotional affair with, or they could be looking for an easy way to storm out of the house without you suspecting anything.

Schoolboy/Schoolgirl crush

Remember when you use to have a crush on someone when you were younger? You’ll light up just because they are in the same room with you, or because you got to talk to them. You can notice this too with your spouse, if they come home and head straight for the computer to chat, or they are overly happy when they get a phone call, they might be talking to their new “love interest”. Just like when you first started going out with your spouse, they are excited whenever they are about to meet or talk to the other person. This is also what happens to people who have the “7 year itch”, but emotionally not physically.

 

Since we were children, we were always taught by our parents that if you do something wrong, you are going to get punished for your actions. I guess for some people, those who don’t consider emotional affairs as “just talking”, they aren’t doing anything wrong. They continue to justify their actions in their own mind as being harmless, which makes it a lot more difficult to catch an emotionally cheating spouse; spouses involved in a physical affair are more guilty, more defensive, and leave a lot more clues. Some people even consider this a game, thinking they aren’t hurting anyone, and “what they won’t know won’t hurt them”.

If you caught your spouse in an emotional affair, explain to them how it IS harmful, and it IS something that is destructive to your relationship. If they refuse to stop, and repeatedly cheat on you emotionally, marriage counseling might be necessary.

Surviving Infidelity

The following are scenarios that you may find yourself in when trying to survive infidelity, along with my opinions on what you can do. Know that I am just like you, I am not a PHD, not a self proclaimed relationship guru, and not a marriage counselor; I am none of those, I am just like you, someone who has gone through infidelity. I survived infidelity and, although it took longer than it should, flourished.

It took me months to take any sort of action to prove to myself that my husband was having an affair, and two years to get over the fact that I was cheated on by my now ex-husband. I KNOW exactly what you are going through and how horrible it feels; it’s so horrible you feel like you are in a nightmare and want to wake up, this is why most people become delusional during the early stages of infidelity because they expect the problem to fix itself (wake up). It’s the darkest hours of your life finding out someone you love and trust above all else has betrayed you.

But trust me, after all of this has passed, you will become a stronger person. You don’t believe that now, but after a year has passed, with the right mindset, you will become emotionally stronger with better judgment and control of your life. Same goes for your marriage, if you choose to remain married; your marriage and bond with your spouse together will get stronger in time, you will gradually regain the lost trust, and get the feeling of security back. A marriage counselor will quicken the process for both.

Once I got rid of my negativity, I did start dating again, and I did eventually get married again. I changed my whole “the sky is falling down” attitude that I’ve had since I found out about the affair, and started to think AND do positive. There’s such a horrible media created stereotype that women who are in their late thirties will have a harder time finding a man that wants to be with them. If you’ve been with your spouse since you were in your early twenties, then broke up when you were older, you shouldn’t have that fear of being alone. You will be able to find someone that truly deserves you, all you need to do is go out there to create the opportunity. Holing up and being depressed will never get you anything, and should be avoided at all costs.

One of the most important things that you should know is that trying to survive infidelity alone will increase the difficulty of the whole process, you NEED to vent, be it anonymously online, a friend or family member, an infidelity support group, or a professional marriage counselor. I highly recommend marriage counselors, and you have zero excuses to not seek help because there are online marriage counseling courses available to you if you can’t afford one of your local counselors. A typical marriage counselor in America costs around $100-200+ an hour, online marriage counseling costs $200-300 for a whole course, and extra for one on one coaching sessions. If you are low on cash, finish an online marriage counseling course first, then seek online one on one marriage coaching. I hope this article will help you deal with infidelity better than I did.

 

Beginning Of Infidelity

You’ve observed the typical signs of a cheating spouse, you start thinking that you may have infidelity problems, but still doubt it because you know your husband or wife loves you. More signs appear, and you decide to do some spying. You find proof that points towards an affair. At first you refuse to believe it because it’s your spouse, they would never ever do that. But as you observe more and more signs, find more and more proof, you start to accept that it could be a reality. Your spouse could be cheating on you, being intimate with someone else behind your back. Your world stops, and your heart drops on the floor shattering into a billion pieces. You see images of your spouse with someone else, being intimate together, laughing together, doing all the things you used to do, and lying to you about it. You contemplate whether or not you should continue living and you fall into a deep dark depressed state.

This may not be true for you, but that certainly was me, I was so gutted I locked myself up in the bathroom as soon as I found proof of an affair and cried my eyes out. I wanted to end my life. If you have never gone through infidelity, this may seem exaggerated to you, but trust me, it’s not even close. To describe the feeling of finding out that your spouse is having an affair, I would have to compare it to being locked up in an escape proof box. That is slowly sinking to the deepest depths of the ocean. Slowly getting crushed by the pressure. Even if you escape the box, you’ll still be killed by the pressure. If you don’t escape the box, you get crushed along with it. If you somehow survive the pressure and escape from the box, you will drown because you can’t hold your breath long enough to resurface. That’s almost as painful as first finding out you have infidelity problems.

The common reactions of people first discovering infidelity are usually either shock, disbelief, hate, or all of the above at the same time. I say this based on my own experience, and that of the hundreds of people that I’ve talked to and emailed. The only thing that tops the questions “how do I save my marriage?” is “how can I get revenge?”. The best revenge is acting like you aren’t affected and moving on as quickly as you possibly can. You don’t want to waste anymore of your life on them. Letting your ex-spouse end up with the person they cheated on you with is also a form of revenge because every time they see their cheat partner they will realize how much of a disgusting human being they are, and that it could happen to them because their relationship was based on an affair.

Infidelity is so devastating that it causes you lose the ability to think properly, and let your emotions take control over your actions. Some, out of sheer desperation, will offer or try to do anything and everything for their spouse just to save their marriage (you shouldn’t, this will make your spouse more inclined to leave you). We’ll talk about saving a marriage in another article, but for this article we will focus on ourselves first because self healing is necessary before attempting to salvage a failing relationship.

 

Ways To Survive Infidelity

Here are some ways to help you deal with your infidelity problems. If you’ve just discovered that your husband or wife cheated on you, please do NOT make any drastic decisions until you’ve calmed down. Traumatizing experiences may cause you to say or do something you do not mean, or want to happen. Take some time off, let your emotions settle, then come up with a plan to save your marriage, or end it. Seek help from a marriage counselor if you are able to.

 

Vent Your Infidelity Problems

One of the most important things for you to do is to get support from people who will understand your situation. It doesn’t matter who you go to, what is important is that as soon as you find out you have infidelity problems, immediately share it with a friend, relative, or on our surviving infidelity forums. It will drastically improve your feelings, and they may even give you helpful advice. Right now, you want to know there are people out there that want to help you. You need all the help you can get, so don’t be afraid to ask for it.

A major problem victims of infidelity have is that they do not like telling other people what happened because they feel ashamed that they were cheated on (and it is humiliating, especially if you had no clue of the affair). This is the wrong mindset, don’t think about what others will think of your marriage or relationship, think about how much easier everything will be with the support of your family and friends. If you have no one you can talk to, I urge you to post on our forums or seek an infidelity support group. There are a few members right now on the forums, but Mike (my husband), Hana, and myself will always reply to your posts. If you feel that what you have to share is not fit for the forums, you can email me directly.

You have zero excuses for not telling anyone now. Family, friends,  surviving infidelity forums, an infidelity support group, or email me directly (I will always try to reply as soon as I can). Why am I pushing this? Because it’s extremely important, and something that took me months to do myself (I talked to friends about it, went to a counselor alone, and eventually joined an infidelity support group and met Mike). I want you to talk to someone, and do it as soon as you can. Venting your feelings to someone that is willing to listen is one of the best ways to survive infidelity and get another point of view. So please do it.

Do NOT Give Your Spouse Ultimatums

Can you count how many times you’ve said “You will NEVER AGAIN DO ______ AFTER THIS” during or right after a fight? What about “I’m never going to ______ because of this”? What happened after you gave your ultimatum? You had more fights, or your spouse started holding grudges. Ultimatums do nothing but make a relationship worse. If your partner is not willing to compromise, giving them ultimatums will just make them sick of you and feel trapped in the relationship.

When you first find out you are dealing with infidelity you enter a state of shock, and your emotions take over. This will cause you to act based on what just happened, you being betrayed. Naturally you’ll want to get even, and you may say things you don’t mean. Such as “our marriage is so over. that was the last straw!”, when really, you still love your spouse very much but are just so hurt you want to push them away and hurt them back. Your spouse, who cheated, may also still love you very much and genuinely regret having their affair. So take a break, move to your relatives or somewhere you can have “me time”, and find people to talk to about your problems. Search the local yellow pages for marriage counselors or therapists. Give your family doctor a call and ask for a recommendation in case they know some therapists in your area.

 

Get Marriage Counseling Locally Or Online

Alternative To Marriage Counseling

Sign up to receive Dr. Gunzburgs free "How To Survive An Affair" report. Perfect alternative for those who can't afford a local therapist.

I’ll go in depth in marriage counseling in another article, but this is something you may or may not want. Some people are not comfortable telling strangers (even though they are professional marriage therapists) about their private lives and problems. Some people may not agree with going to marriage counselor, or even believe they can help (they do). They will give you a personalized plan to get your marriage back together, and offer structure. They let you vent, in front of your spouse, and give suggestions to each of your problems that will help you compromise together.

Marriage counseling is one of the best ways to survive infidelity as a couple, or by yourself. If your spouse (the one who cheated) refuses to go to marriage counseling, you should ask yourself if they REALLY want to save your marriage. This is a compromise any cheating spouse should agree to, because it’s a positive step to gaining back the trust they lost from you.  That’s the most important part of counseling for me, helping you trust your cheating spouse again, and helping them figure out why they cheated and what they need to do to mend the relationship.

Another reason some people don’t go to marriage counseling is because of the high fees. I understand that $100-200 per hour is a lot, but consider what you are getting for that fee. You are getting help to rebuild your failing marriage, is that not worth the fees? If you really can’t save up $100-200 per counseling session, then try an online course designed by a marriage counselor. Don’t skip this method of surviving infidelity until you’ve actually tried it. There are so many negative stereotypes against “shrinks”, but the truth is, they help people a lot. It’s just not as visible as say a surgeon or a family doctor, but they do improve the quality of life for lots of people, not just people with failing marriages.

Most people save this method for last because they want to try to fix the problem themselves. For some with simple problems like a spouse that flirts or is too touchy, that works, for others that are dealing with an affair, they dig a deeper whole that can sometimes lead to a divorce.

You can find a marriage counselor in your area by googling “marriage counseling [your state here]”, by looking through a phone directory, or even better, calling your family doctor and asking for a recommendation. I’d always take a referral over a phone directory.

For online marriage counseling courses, see Dr. Gunzburg’s program on how to survive an affair. Watch the video and signup to get the free report. Take the course online, and then seek one on one coaching. That’s the cheapest alternative to marriage counseling you can get. $100-200 per hour vs $50 per month for a 4 month course.

The online course teaches you how to start talking with your spouse again, how you can make them end the affair, how to forgive your spouse and restore the trust you once had, and stop seeing images and getting negative thoughts about the affair your husband or wife had. You get the ebook version instantly followed by the hard copy and workbook they mail to you. I would hold off on the one on one coaching sessions until you actually complete the course, either alone or as a couple. The surviving infidelity course works on the victim, and the cheater separately, and then together once you’ve dealt with your individual problems. It’s main focus is trust building.

 

Read How Others Dealt With Infidelity

Another great way to feel better is by reading through other people’s infidelity problems, and how they solved it. Doing this reassures you that you are not alone, and you will be able to do the same things as they have. Please take some time and visit the infidelity forums and browse through other people’s problems and what they did to overcome it. The forums is heavily moderated, so if you are planning on posting, do not flame, curse, or reveal someone’s personal information.

Surviving infidelity is much more easier when you get inspired by people who have succeeded. We will maintain the forums as long as possible because we believe this is one of the best resources we can share with victims of infidelity, and we would appreciate if you shared your stories with us. For the benefit of the future readers like yourself, that need the inspiration to show them that they too can overcome their marriage problems.

 

Put Your Feelings Into Writing

Write down everything you feel, and what you think about the affair. Imagine you are talking to your spouse directly, and put to words everything and anything you want to say to them. It doesn’t matter if you give them what you wrote or not, but venting it and putting it in to writing will help you relieve some of the stress of the affair. It’s also a good way to gain structure and come up with a plan on what you want to do with your relationship. Again, don’t do anything drastic while you are in a state of emotional trauma.

 

Stay Healthy

Easier said than done, I know. It’s very difficult to keep eating properly, or having enough exercise and staying active, but it’s a necessity. There’s absolutely no way you are going to survive an affair if you are unhealthy physically and emotionally. Even if you don’t want to or can’t exercise, you need to at least eat three meals a day. Can’t eat proper meals? At least eat some protein bars, and meal replacement shakes along with vitamins.

My suggestion, for those who can, is just run. Run as fast as you can, for as long as you can. It feels great, and is a natural way to relieve stress. If you run enough, your body releases endorphins and you  may experience what some people call a “runner’s high”.[1]

In the following days, you will be making one of the most important decisions in your life that will potentially change your relationship. Don’t ever make any important decisions when you are not physically and emotionally stable.

 

Stay Happy

Like the runner’s high (endorphins make you happy), but instead of exercise, we buy ourselves things :) Do you love chocolate? Go buy yourself a box. Have you been dying to get that outfit you always pass by going home from work? Buy it!. Go to a hair salon, get your hair done. For the guys, well my husband loves collecting DVDs, so go buy yourself the whole Godfather trilogy set and watch it with some buddies. If you can afford it, go on a vacation in another country you’ve been dying to see.

Point is, do whatever it takes to lift your mood up. Now is the lowest, most depressing point in your life, it’s the perfect time to buy yourself things that make you happy. Go call some friends and do something fun with them, treat them out to dinner. Anything to take your mind away from infidelity, and give you time to cool off. Remember your goal, it’s to create a plan to survive infidelity. You can’t do that properly if you are depressed or angry, because you will most likely opt to get rid of the person that hurt you (your spouse).

Get your emotions in check, create a plan, and follow through. You might hate your spouse more than ANYONE right now, but you may find that after a month or two, you still really love them and they may also still love you and realize what a grave mistake they’ve committed.

 

Create A Plan To Help You Survive Infidelity

You will need to create your own plan on how you can survive infidelity, below is a suggestion on what I would do if I had to re-live my past experience with a cheating spouse. Writing this down on a blog, piece of paper, or forums will benefit you more than just mentally remembering it. Remember to create your plan during your break/time apart so you don’t let your emotions dictate your actions.

 

An example plan

After discovering my spouse had an affair, I would confront them about it, but give no ultimatums/final decisions. I would tell them we need to take some time apart to think about the problems we are going through. I would avoid a screaming match at all costs, and save further confrontation until we both have made up our minds about our relationship.

I will call up my mother, she dealt with an affair too, so she would understand exactly what I’m going through. My second option would be too call a trusted friend. My third option is to anonymously share my story on a infidelity support forum/group (although I would prefer the forum because I am not great at publicly sharing my feelings even though anonymous). We heavily moderate posts on our forum, and we won’t post something that is spam, hateful, or detrimental to anyone’s recovery. Be wary when joining an infidelity forums because some are NOT moderated and you may end up just receiving bad advice, flames, or negative comments where people blame you for the whole affair.

While taking some time to cool off, I would think about whether I want to save our marriage, or get separated. I would research on a local marriage counselor, after checking with a family doctor or relatives for a recommended couple’s therapist. My second option would be to take an online marriage counseling course on how to survive an affair as an alternative.

While still on a break, I would plan my day by creating a schedule, remember that it is important to stay healthy and eat properly. I would continue to vent to my family, friends, or anonymously through one of the forums I chose to join. I will also read other people’s examples and what they did to cope with the affair. I would put all my hate and anger into a letter that I will make my spouse read, then I will continue with my self healing. If you have the money, this is the time to consider going on a vacation or shopping trips.

When I start feeling better, I will go back to my spouse and ask them what they want to happen to our relationship, and tell them what I want. I would ask them to go to marriage counseling with me so we can work on our marriage. (I did not do this in real life, because my first marriage was not salvageable. I chose to get a divorce instead, and got full custody of our kids since he did not care).

When we start going to the marriage counselor, or taking an online marriage counseling alternative, I will make sure both of us follow through with the assignments, and I would also suggest we do things that we used to enjoy together, or maybe even save up for a couples retreat once we’ve finished with our counseling course.

 

What Should I Do Right Now?

  1. Call up your family, friends, and vent. Let them know what you’re going through, they will naturally want to help you. Don’t be ashamed to take them up on their offers, move in with them, go out with them, be with them. Nothing can replace being cared for by people your love. If you have no option of doing that, take the alternative and post on the forums. If you don’t want that either, send me an anonymous email and we can talk.
  2. After venting, leave the house (the house you live in with your spouse) and get some away time from them so you can clear your mind. Remember, no ultimatums and final decisions until you’ve thought everything through.
  3. Start the healing process. Do one, or all (better), of the above methods talked about in the ways to survive infidelity section. You can even consider taking the online marriage counseling course alone to quicken the process and give you insight on what to expect from your spouse and where your marriage is headed.
  4. Once you’ve cleared your mind, and got rid of as much of the negative thoughts and emotions, you can begin creating your plan on what you want to happen, or follow through with the 4 month course above.

 

Remember, the most important thing in surviving infidelity is NOT trying to take it all on alone.

 

Additional Information

1.http://www.lehigh.edu/~dmd1/sarah.html

GPS Vehicle Tracking Devices

This is one of the ways mentioned in the main how to catch a cheating spouse article. In this article we will be talking about the types of GPS (Global Positioning System) devices, mainly the ones used for vehicle tracking. This will only be a general guide to help you pick your own tracker; for direct product recommendations follow this link to the gps car tracking devices page.

Before buying or using any type of GPS device or spy tools, please check your local state laws. It is absolutely illegal to attach and monitor a vehicle that does not belong to you.

What are GPS Vehicle Tracking Devices?

GPS vehicle trackers are small devices that you can hide on your car that will allow you to track it’s location via Google Maps; some of the older GPS car trackers have their own built in system that does not make use of Google maps, but it will still display the exact location of your car on a similar platform.These are also some of the most common tools Private Investigators use to follow your spouse’s car. For the purpose of this article we will only focus on GPS devices that will help us catch a cheating spouse, and monitor our children’s activities, we will not be talking about GPS devices that are used for navigational purposes.

How Do I Use GPS To Catch A Cheating Spouse?

You select which type of tracker you want to use, and attach it to your vehicle. Once attached and active, the GPS device will continually record the location of your spouse’s car. You will be able to know exactly where they are, and what time they were there. Unlike the simple free method which tells you to monitor your spouse’s mileage and gas consumption, this will provide verifiable evidence that your spouse is lying to you about their location.

You will have proof of where they were, but not who they are with; so before any confrontation, you might consider following them next time they head to their “secret” place and check up on them and who they’re with. You could do this yourself, or even better get a friend to do it for you so they can follow them without being noticed. If you can afford to spend hundreds of dollars, you could hire a private investigator to do this for you.  If you plan on following your spouse or having a friend follow them, you are looking to buy a “real-time” GPS tracker. If you just want to know whether or not your spouse is lying to you about where they are going, you will want a cheap “passive tracker”.

 

Types of GPS trackers

Real-time GPS Trackers

GPS Tracker

Satellites are used to monitor GPS trackers.

A real time GPS tracker is the one you should get if you want to be able to monitor the tracker remotely. There are usually three items you get when you buy a realtime tracker, the tracker itself, the receiver, and the software.

The GPS receiver is the part of your GPS tracking system that collects the data from the tracker, and allows you to view it remotely via the computer, laptop, or your cell phone. Most modern GPS systems will make use of Google Maps when displaying data.

The GPS tracker is the part of your GPS system that you attached to the car, bag, pet, or whatever you want to monitor. This transmits it’s location to the receiver, and may be powered by rechargeable batteries, or directly attached to your car’s battery. More advanced GPS devices have built in functions to send “emergency rescue” signals.

The GPS software is basically your user interface for accessing the data your receiver has gathered. Some GPS trackers, those that use websites to feed you the data, will directly link you to google maps. Website based trackers more often than not require a monthly or yearly subscription.

This is recommended for people that want to protect their car from theft, or as mentioned above, so you can follow or have a friend follow your spouse’s location.

Passive GPS Trackers

Passive GPS trackering systems only consist of the GPS tracker, and software (same as above). They basically act the same but with no remote access for the passive tracker. That means if you hide it in your car, you will need to wait for your car to return home to be able to retrieve the data via computer or laptop USB. This is a nice cheaper alternative to the real-time trackers if you want to monitor your spouse’s location, but it is useless if you are buying a GPS tracker for the purpose of protecting your car.

This is recommended for people who want to catch their spouse cheating, it’s simple, cheap and provides us with everything we need; factual evidence that they are lying about where they were. If you want to follow your spouse, you will need the real-time tracker.

Disguised GPS Trackers

These can be passive or real-time, the only difference is they are made to look like everyday items. There are some GPS gadgets that are made to look like pens, some dog collars, some stuffed toys. I wouldn’t recommend these for catching a cheater, especially the smaller ones mainly because GPS trackers usually cost anywhere between $50-100 while a “disguised” GPS tracker will almost double the price. For the SAME features. It’s not worth it in my opinion. If you want a disguised tracker, buy a cheap GPS and stuff it into a teddy bear, or a tissue box in your car, or into a baby car seat. Be creative, don’t pay double for something you can use your creativity on. What is useful though are the GPS watches, and personal trackers which are the size of an ipod, but thicker.

This is recommended for young kids, the GPS watches are helpful and durable; the personal GPS trackers have built in “panic buttons” to alert authorities.

Personal GPS Trackers

These devices are another form of “real time” GPS tracking, with the added features of built in panic buttons. Panic buttons are used to send out an SOS to the receiver (your computer, laptop, or cell phone) at home, to a set of contacts via email or cell phone, and, depending on the model you pick, may even send out a distress signal directly to your local emergency response center .The response center then contacts your local police, the coast guard, or if your personal GPS tracker supports global tracking, the tracker will contact your embassy. Abusing this feature will get you in lots of trouble.

Personal GPS trackers cost exceptionally more than the other trackers because of the panic button feature, as well as the lengthy battery life. A $200+ unit will have a battery lifetime of up to a month.

This is recommended for monitoring your children, or any relative that works in a dangerous area. Downside of this is it is rather large and bulky, think walkman size, and the subscription fee is typically higher than the normal active tracker. If you are too young to know what a walkman is, think ipod, but around 2-3 inches thick. I just gave away my age there :).

Cell phone GPS trackers

These are spy software for cell phones that are coupled with the ability to read any texts, emails sent from the phone, as well as view the phonebook or call history. We already covered this in another article, see the article on cell phone trackers for more information.

This is recommended for tracking a mobile phone’s location if a car is not available. Also added features such as monitoring text messages, emails, and websites visited.

 

What Is The Best GPS To Buy For Cars?

It depends on what you want it for. If you are planning to use it to monitor where your spouse or kids location was for a day, the simple passive tracker will fulfill your needs; assuming that they will be returning back home and you will have physical access to the tracker. If you are planning to buy a car tracker for the sake of securing your car (anti theft), you will need a real-time GPS tracker for the remote checking functionality, passive trackers are obviously useless here since you won’t ever see your car again.

If buying for the sake of just catching a cheating spouse, pick the cheapest GPS tracker you can find that only reports back location. If buying for the sake of monitoring your kids I would recommend something that logs the location AND the travel speed, so you’ll know if your children are breaking the speed limits and you can warn them. When buying for the sake of protecting a vehicle, location is the only thing that really matters; most real-time subscription based GPS products monitor the tracker from any location in the country, some (cell phone trackers especially) even monitor internationally.

If you’re looking for an exact model, please see the link above to the product review page.

 

What Is The Best GPS Tracker For Kids?

For kids, not old enough to drive, you can give them GPS tracking watches, keychains, or personal GPS trackers. They are usually small enough to fit in their bags. Personal GPS trackers are a type of real-time trackers with built in functions such as calling 911, sending SOS to the receiver, and works anywhere on the planet. These personal GPS trackers should only be used for monitoring your children, they are too expensive to be used for simply trying to catch your spouse cheating; prices average between $100-200+, but it is WELL worth it to have a panic button for your child to push in case they are in danger.

 

Where Should I Hide My GPS Tracker?

  1. For micro trackers, these are so small they can be kept inside briefcases and purses. Downside to these “micro GPS” are that it is usually the passive data collector type. Real-time GPS trackers are a bit bigger so it wouldn’t hide well in a purse. I suggest taping the micro trackers in a briefcase pocket.
  2. For magnetic GPS tracking devices, the best places to hide it in are the trunk, above the tires (they will stick to metal and are very study), underneath the dashboard, and behind the bumper of your car.
  3. Simple everyday items that are big enough that you can stuff a small GPS tracker in it. No reason to spend extra for some of the custom made “disguised GPS units”, just create them yourselves. Some common items to put in your car and stuff a GPS tracker into are: a tissue box, stuffed toys, car pillows, DVD cases, and child seats and toys.

 

Additional information

It is illegal to monitor a vehicle, that you do not own, by attaching a GPS tracking device to it, but did you know that a government agent CAN track anyone’s property even without a warrant? They can sneak in to your house at night and attach a GPS car tracing device while you are sleeping. Read an article on time magazine which talks about this, the article is by Adam Cohen, lawyer and Time writer : http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2013150,00.html

Free Ways to Catch Your Spouse Cheating

In this article we will talk about the free ways we can catch a cheating spouse. Although not as effective as their paid counterparts (using keyloggers, cell phone trackers, or hidden cameras), it is still effective. The only problems we have with these methods are the limitations they have regarding collecting factual evidence,  most of these methods may also require additional help from your friends. Don’t let the simplicity of these traps fool you, they work well, and are unexpected.

Make sure you do not skip ahead to confronting your spouse about an affair without proper proof to back up your accusations. The last thing we would want to do is make a cheater aware we know about their affairs. If you want to read the original article that focuses on not just the free ways, go to the how to catch a cheating spouse article.

 

Free Ways To Catch A Cheating Spouse

1. See Through Tape Trap

I mentioned this back in the main how to catch a cheating spouse article. Simple see through tape can be used on doors, toilet seats, fridges or anything that will rip the tape off when used. This can be used in determining if your spouse comes home and has company with them. Examples would be using the tape on the toilet seat. If no one should be home at that time, then the tape will remain in tact. Another way to use this simple trick to catch a cheat is by taping the bed cover to the bed, taping the pillow to the covers, or taping the edges of the bed cover to the headboard. Great simple way to find out if someone has used the bed while you were gone. These aren’t obvious areas to tape and won’t likely even be noticed by your spouse, you won’t have to fear tipping them off that you are on to them.

2. Bait Your Spouse On The Internet

Cheating spouses are common all over the internet. This is why one of the most recommended ways of catching them is installing either hardware or software keyloggers. If you don’t have the spare cash for that a free effective way will be creating bogus profiles; profiles of people that you would expect your spouse to be attracted to. You of all people should know what type of person your spouse would find attractive, so create the bait and then “accidentally” find their profile. Send them personal messages on facebook, myspace, or the social site of their choice; throw them some compliments in the P.M. and ask if you could be friends. More often than not a cheater will respond positively. From that point be creative, start flirting with them. If you get the feeling that they are in to you and would go further, test it. Maybe turn the conversation sexual and see how they react. Get their phone numbers. This method has worked for many people whom I’ve helped, and we were lucky(or unlucky) to find out that most of their spouses have secret prepaid cell phones that they use exclusively for “hooking up”. Possibly the best method in this list.

3. Make Your Friend Hit On Your Spouse

This is difficult on many levels;  you need to have a friend that is willing to help you, and you have to be willing to let the fake seduction go on until you are certain they are willing to cheat on you (which is emotionally draining to experience). If you have a willing friend that your spouse does not know of, instead of having them seduce your spouse in real life, make them do the second method on this list. Make them have regular phone conversations until you are satisfied that you have enough proof of infidelity. Make sure you have that friend with you when you confront them so they have no escape. If you plan on giving your friend a digital voice recorder to capture their conversations, please do some research on your local state laws; think Mel Gibson Vs Oksana Grigorieva. In the state of California, if you do not let the person you are talking to know that the conversation is being recorded it will not be admissible in a court of law.

 

4. Spouse’s Internet Browsing History

For the non-tech savvy cheaters, it will be easy to track their online activities. Here’s how to check the internet browsing history for three of the most used web browsers :

For Firefox

spouse's internet browsing history

This is what it should look like in your internet explorer browser

Click on Tools > Options > Privacy > Select “Remember History”. This should enable the logging of websites so you can check what sites your spouse has visited. To view the actual history press Ctr + Shift + H, or click on History > Show All History

For Internet Explorer

Click on Tools > Internet Options > General > Uncheck “Delete Browsing History On Exit”. This will allow you to record website history. To view the actual history, press the same buttons as firefox or click on, View > Explorer Bars > History

For Google Chrome

Chrome automatically collects browsing history. To view the history page, just press Ctrl + H, or click on the wrench icon and scroll down to “History”; a search box should appear along with the dates and sites visited.

You’re out of luck though if your spouse is tech savvy and knows how to clear their tracks; the only solution against a spouse that deletes their internet browsing history is getting a hardware keylogger, or software keylogger.

 

Care to add your own FREE way to catch a cheating spouse? Leave it in the comments section. This post should only contain free methods, see the original article for all the other ways to catch a cheating spouse.  I’ll update this as much as I can.

Catch Cheating Spouse With Keyloggers

In this article we will discuss the functions and types of keyloggers, and how you can use them to confirm or deny your beliefs that your spouse is cheating on you. We will also include information on how to detect a keylogger on computer just to keep you informed on how to protect your pc or laptop. For specific keylogger product reviews, follow the links below to relevant articles. This article is only a general overview on keyloggers and how we can apply them to catching a cheater, not a product recommendation page.

Before using any type of keylogger, spy software, cell phone tracker, GPS device and similar spy gear, be sure to do your own research on your local state laws. Each state law differs in regards to monitoring private activities, and it is absolutely illegal to install keyloggers or similar devices on other people’s properties. It’s common that keylogger manufacturers tell you it’s “100% legal to own” but they usually leave out the part where it’s illegal to use in your state/country, so don’t get in to trouble and do research or you can get sued if you get caught.

 

What Are Keyloggers?

Keyloggers, (also called keystroke loggers, keystroke recorders, or keystroke trackers) are devices or programs that monitor a computer or laptop’s keystrokes. There have also been recent keyloggers designed specifically for cellphones, which are called cell phone trackers, or cellphone spies. This means anything typed into a computer, laptop, or mobile phone will be recorded by your cell phone keylogger.

These spy gadgets or softwares are often used in monitoring employees, or protecting one’s own pc or mac from sleuths who snoop through your files, or copy files without permission. The best keyloggers are capable of storing all keystrokes, passwords[[1], and websites visited on the internet. The more advanced keyloggers even take screenshots and remotely report all their findings to you via email.

 

Types of Keyloggers

There are two types of keyloggers available in the market, the simpler hardware keyloggers, and the more complex software keyloggers. The latter being the more popular form of keylogger, because of the malicious people that spread it on the internet in hopes of stealing your personal information, online bank account or paypal passwords[2].

Before buying anything, make sure that it is compatible with your OS (windows/mac) and that it has a free trial period, or free trial download (limited features and time limit).

1. Hardware Keyloggers

hardware keylogger

Two types of Hardware Keylogger

Hardware Keyloggers are the devices you connect at the back of the PC. These don’t work for laptops unless they are using an external keyboard, which is a rare sight. The advantage of hardware based keyloggers is that they will not require any type of installation. It’s basically plug and play. That means if your personal computer is armed with an antivirus or spy detection software, you will have no chance of being detected. Another pro is that they are portable keyloggers

Before you select your keylogger, make sure you know what type of port your computer uses. Most modern pcs have both, but just to be sure check the back of your computer or unplug your keyboard and look at the port. The two type of hardware keyloggers are the USB keylogger and the PS/2 Keylogger. As seen on the picture to your left, the USB has a rectangular port and the PS/2 has a round port.

The pricing of these keyloggers will depend on the amount of storage space you select. If you use a hardware based keylogger and can give it daily checkups, then you will do fine with a cheap $10 or so version with as little as 2 gigabytes. If you leave the house for days or even weeks, to make sure you record everything that could possibly be typed on your computer get the biggest storage you can get.

The disadvantage of hardware keyloggers is that if your spouse, kids, or anyone you want to monitor when using your computer checks the back/keyboard cord, they will detect it visually, unless they are not very tech savvy. Most people won’t know what that small piece of extra hardware is, very few will.

Although not usually bound by computer/laptop OS, you should check if it’s a windows 7 keylogger only, or windows xp keylogger only, etc.

2. Software Keyloggers

software keylogger

Software Keyloggers

These spy programs are what you can use for both laptops and personal computers. It used to be rare to find a software keyloggers for macs, but they do exist now. The advantage of using this over their hardware cousin is that because it is software based, the features will only be limited by the developers. Common computer monitoring software features are the ability to take screenshots at set intervals, log the websites visited, log instant messenger conversations and save transcripts, and store password files. There are simple keyloggers that function almost identical to hardware based keyloggers, but there are also advanced keyloggers that will let you monitor your computer remotely.

Say you are vacationing, and the only person at home is your spouse or a relative. You could monitor how they use your computer or laptop remotely by having your spy program email you daily reports of the activity it recorded.You can’t do this with a hardware keylogger because those are simple plug and play gadgets, where you need to physically access the data through the computer’s interface.

Another advantage of using a software keylogger is that you will not need to spend more money because you need larger disk space. The software uses your laptop’s or computer’s own hardware to store the data before either sending it to your email, or just manually review it through the interface and delete it.

The biggest pro in my opinion is that if you suspect your spouse is cheating, there will be no chance of them accidentally discovering your plans on monitoring your home computer because they saw the product you ordered. You can download software based keyloggers instantly, most offer a free trial too.

A disadvantage is that some anti virus software targets specific software keyloggers which cause them to either stop working, or be detected. This is a temporary setback if you bought a high quality software based keylogger because these are commonly patched to counter anti viri software. The cycle continues on as both softwares patch over each other.

Make sure, especially for mac users, that your software will be compatible to your OS. Majority of software keyloggers are for windows 7, windows xp, or vista. Mac keylogger softwares are rare, so you should know that any keylogger out there is most likely made for windows unless otherwise stated.

 

How To Detect Keylogger On Computer

Anti Keyloggers are softwares similar to anti virus programs. They can limit the data transferred or completely nullify software based keyloggers. If your current computer or laptop has none, you should install a combination of anti keylogger, anti virus, and firewall softwares to protect you against keyloggers that may be installed in your computer, or (accidentally) downloaded to your computer from malicious websites.

Just because you have installed anti keylogger software does not mean you are fully protected against someone recording your keystrokes on the keyboard, because paid software keyloggers, especially those that are subscription based, will consistently patch their software to make invisible keyloggers, or temporarily undetectable keyloggers. Keylogger detection will never be 100%, no matter what your software provider says. If you want complete, or as close to complete, keylogger detection choose an anti keylogger software that is subscription based, or that guarantees regular updates. Couple that with similar anti virus and firewall programs. The firewall software is just for those specific keyloggers that transmit data remotely via the internet. Commonly used by hackers.

There are absolutely zero ways an anti keylogger software can protect you from hardware keyloggers because the keyboard is directly connected to the keylogger. The data/key strokes are fed first to the keylogger before even reaching your computer, where the software is installed in. But if you’re reading this, then you’ll know to just check the back of your computer to avoid being spied on.

Beware of “Free keylogger downloads”

It’s common to see “Keylogger FREE download!” on a lot of websites, try it yourself and google “spy on computer free” or “free spy software for PC”. Wonder what the catch is? Most of these free software are actually used to track YOUR keystrokes. What they give you may or may not work, but most of these sites are just out to install their keyloggers on your computers to steal your personal information or bank account information. Don’t get tricked into downloading freeware keyloggers.

If you want to save money when trying to catch a cheating spouse, go for the free options described in the setting traps article. Keyloggers, cellphone trackers and other hardware or software is NOT the place where you try and save a few dollars. If you do, you are risking your valuable information being stolen by some hacker by downloading their “freeware” keylogger. If you choose to ignore this warning, you should thoroughly research the product you are downloading, as well as have anti keyloggers, anti virus, and a firewall installed.

A good free firewall is “Zonealarm[3]”, and a good free anti virus is “avast! antivirus[4]”, both are free to download for personal use. IMO, don’t risk it. Would you rather save $30-100, and risk having your information stolen by someone over the internet, or just pick a secure reliable software that won’t infect your PC?

Please try out the free ways mentioned in this site before you download freeware key recorders. I insist. I don’t want you losing your personal information because you wanted to save a few bucks. Most of these malware disguised as freeware are responsible for people losing thousands of dollars from their credit card or bank accounts.

“The log files contained personal information on more than 170,000 victims, including passwords, PINs, user names, and so on. They also contained information, including PINs, on over 10,000 bank accounts, over 140,000 email passwords and the access details of nearly 80,000 members of social networking sites such as Facebook and Hi5.”[5]

 

Additional Information

1. http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/bb761584%28VS.85%29.aspx
2. http://www.cuhk.edu.hk/itsc/security/isglosry/index.html#K
3. http://www.zonealarm.com/security/en-us/zonealarm-pc-security-free-firewall.htm
4. http://www.avast.com/free-antivirus-download
5. http://www.h-online.com/security/news/item/Keyloggers-under-the-microscope-739423.html

Emotional Affairs

What are emotional affairs?

Emotional affairs are relationships formed by individuals who are already in a monogamous relationship (married or long term relationship), but start or maintain another relationship that involves emotional intimacy with a different partner. These new relationships could start out merely as plain friendship, but slowly end up turning into emotional affairs. A relationship can be considered an emotional affair when the details of your conversation are too intimate that it would normally be only appropriate to talk about it with your significant other.

According to Dr. Shirley P. Glass, an infidelity expert, psychologist, and a licensed family and marriage therapist, women are more prone to have emotional affairs than men, and men are more prone to the regular physical affair, where emotions are not the main root cause of infidelity. In a study done by Dr. Glass, she notes that the women who have had extramarital emotional affairs were more unsatisfied with their marriage compared to their male counterparts, and both sexes who have had sexual affairs were both equally more unsatisfied than those who have just had emotional affairs.

It is also noted in Dr. Glass’ book, “Not Just Friends”,  that 57% of wives and 44% of husbands that had affairs said they had strong emotional intimacy with their new partners, but withheld any physical intimacy. This emotional affair statistic maybe misleading because people who take surveys are not always honest with themselves, or with the interviewer. The fact is that if an emotional affair goes on for long enough, eventually the two people in that affair will become so comfortable the relationship may transcend into the realm of physical intimacy.

The leap from being comfortable talking about intimate details to meeting each other and talking about it in real life may take awhile. But the point of meeting each other to having your first kiss, could just be around the corner, and from then on, everything speeds up leading to more physical intimacy. The truth is, people think that talking about intimate details with someone other than your spouse is not a threat. Most people think having regular interactions on the internet with a person of the opposite sex is not going to affect your real life relationship because “we’re just talking. Trust me, once you get comfortable enough, you will want to meet this person in real life. Those having emotional affairs with people they already know in real life, that is even more dangerous because you have constant contact with that person. This is how my ex-wife and I broke up, she was developing a relationship(secretly) with another man she met in an online forum. They eventually met up in real life and I did not even find out about that until several months after I found out that they were chatting on line.

 

Emotional Affair Statistics.

What bother men and women more, emotional or physical infidelity?

emotional affair

Women are more prone to emotional affairs than men.

In a study done by Dr. Christine R. Harris, statistics show that out of 137 subjects(55 male, 87 female) most of them put more weight on emotional infidelity rather than physical infidelity. Out of 87 females, 12% said they care more about physical infidelity, and 88% said they care more about emotional infidelity. Out of 55 males, 47% said they care more about physical infidelity, 53% said they care more about emotional infidelity.

The statistics provided by Dr. Harris’ research seem to make it clear that men are equally bothered by both, and women are far more bothered by emotional infidelity. Now you know why your wife seems to be “overly” jealous when you flirt, or react positively to a women who flirts with you.

 

What is considered emotional cheating?

Deception

You may have experienced this yourself, telling your partner you are doing one thing, but really you are spending time with someone of the opposite sex. This is a form of emotional cheating, twist it however way you want to, it still is emotional cheating. There is no reason for you to ever lie to your spouse about who you are with and what you are doing unless it’s something you know they will disagree with. If you are deceiving your spouse, you are cheating on them emotionally. Sure once or twice it may not feel wrong, but it is. Continue on doing that and you will be on your way to a disastrous marriage. Pray your spouse never tries to track your actions or spy on you, because your stories will be full of holes.

Betraying marriage values

Another way to emotionally cheat on your spouse. Telling someone of the opposite sex about intimate details of your relationship is considered emotional cheating. If you can not talk about something with your everyday regular friends, you should not talk about it with anyone else other than your spouse. Talking about how terrible and miserable you are in a relationship with someone who isn’t your wife or husband is a major form of betrayal.

Devoting extra time to the other person

When you get home from work or whenever you have extra time, you choose to spend this on the internet chatting with your new friend instead of doing what your spouse wants to do, this is another form of emotional cheating. You are putting the needs of this other person before the needs of the person you are married to at the same time lying to them about who you are talking with online. Texting and having phone conversations with a person of the opposite sex also is the same thing, emotional cheating.

Secret Friends

Do you have a friend that your spouse does not know exists? Is this friend of the opposite sex? This “secret friendship” could blossom into an emotional affair if you continue to let it grow, without your spouse’s knowledge. You’ll know when it’s getting “serious” when you start sharing intimate details of your relationship with your spouse to this new person. It may start simply by you talking about your day, and tell them things you left out when you were talking to your spouse. You may even try to justify it as “at least he/she won’t judge me” or “my husband/wife doesn’t care about it”, or it could be that you are subconsciously wanting to make your relationship with your new partner stronger by having conversations that only you two share.

When you can tell, or feel like you can tell anything to that one specific person, but you can’t or don’t want to talk about it with your spouse is a form of wanting their emotional intimacy over your own spouse’s.

To read more signs of an emotional affairs, do a search on the blog or follow this link to “Signs of an emotional affair”.

How To Catch A Cheating Spouse

Do you already know that your spouse is cheating on you? Just need to be a hundred percent sure before you take action on your relationship? In this article we will list down ways on how you can catch your spouse cheating. Before you read this, you may want to also read signs of a cheating spouse. Below is a general overview on what tools and methods we have at our disposal, follow the relevant links for a more detailed article on each method described. This section will be updated whenever something new has been found that can help us catch a cheating spouse, your suggestions are more than welcome (use the form linked above or leave it in the comments).

Please do your own research on state laws regarding the use of spy tools to monitor someone else’s conversations. I will not be responsible for providing legal advice for you, when in doubt contact a private investigator or divorce attorney.

A quick tip to keep the data that you have gathered secure, we never want cheaters to know we are on to them, is to start a free blogger.com blog and set it to invitation only. That way no one but you can access the things you have written. What I would do is list down every cheating sign I observed from my cheating spouse and the results of using the following methods and gadgets.

 

Ways to catch a cheating spouse

1.Cell Phone Trackers

Have you ever heard of these? These are programs which you install on your cellphones and have it collect data for you. That data is then sent to a server via the internet which you can access through your home computer or laptop. After manual installation on your phone, you can then leave these cell phone spies alone and just remotely access the data. Most of these work for all the latest mobile phones and the quality ones are always made to be undetectable. Their price ranges from $10 dollars a month, to $60 dollars per quarter. Very affordable, very effective. A top pick for catching a spouse who always has a mobilephone handy. We will not be talking about remotely activated mobilephones[1], those are costly and should not be recommended to anyone who is not a professional spy. It is also illegal to monitor other people’s mobile phones, you should only monitor a phone that you own. What we will talk about are cellphone spies that have text monitoring services as well as GPS trackers. Read the full Cell Phone Tracker article.

2. Keyloggershow to catch a cheating spouse

Keyloggers are devices or software that monitor keystrokes on your computer, which is called keystroke logging[2]. Keyloggers can be useful to you if your suspected cheater is on the computer or laptop a lot (nowadays, who isn’t). The only downside to this method of catching a spouse is that laptops have no other option other than using software keyloggers which you need to install because it wouldn’t make sense to add a hardware keylogger onto a  laptop. A hardware keylogger is more suitable for desktop computers. It is a small device that needs no installation, other than physically inserting it into your keyboard slot located at the back of the CPU. Downside of the hardware keylogger vs the software keylogger is storage space. With hardware keyloggers you are allotted a certain amount of space depending on the type of keylogger used. Software keyloggers make use of the computer or laptops own storage space, so the difference is immense considering hardware keyloggers only reach up to 12 gigabytes and start costing upwards of $50. Please remember that you should never monitor a laptop or computer that is not yours. Read the full Catch a cheating spouse with Keyloggers article.

3. GPS

Or Global Positioning Systems[3], is a way of tracking a device remotely from your pc or laptop. These devices are commonly attached to cars, but recent cellphone spies are so advanced that they have added this functionality to their software. The commonly found GPS devices will let you monitor the device using Google Maps, which makes it a very very powerful tool. Google Maps even allow you to view webcams located in those areas, and get the complete directions to get to that area, from a chosen area of origin (your home for example). The most solid way of busting the lies told to you by your spouse. No more 5 hour long shopping trips, GPS devices will tell you exactly where their went and for how long. Again, this should never be used to track a car that you do not own. It is illegal to GPS track anything but your own property. Read the full GPS Vehicle Tracking Devices article.

4. Reverse Phone Lookups

Also called Reverse telephone directory[4], is a service that lets you track a phone number, be it cellphone or home phone. You can now reverse phone lookup those unknown numbers that keep calling you! The downside is, some people can pay to get removed off of the reverse phone lookup database. Ever wonder how that telemarketer got your phone number? They used the reverse telephone directory. So if you want your details kept off, you’ll have to pay a fee. Another downside is that you will have to pay a fee to access full reports, I have not found a website that offers reverse phone lookups for free. The common details provided are Phone owner’s full name, address, what type of phone (cellphone or landline), and other associated phone numbers. Read the full Reverse Phone Lookups article.

5. Image Tracking

This is simply a search engine, for pictures. Something that is fairly new technology. It’s not the same as google that you type words, instead you show the search engine images. It also may be referred to as Content-Based Image Retrieval (CBIR)[5]. This is useful if you want to run your spouse’s pictures on a CBIR database to see where those pictures are listed on the internet. There is no fee for this service. There are however, limitation. For example, you find your spouse’s picture and they are with an unknown person who they won’t tell you about so you decide to do a search. You will not find that picture online if that picture is saved somewhere on Facebook or Multiply or any other type of social site that is set to private. Only public websites work, and as of now there are no CBIR companies that are big enough (say like google), who scan the entire internet. Read the full Reverse Image Tracking article

6. Video Surveillance Equipment

Hidden cameras are another effective solution to cheaters who have “visitors” at home while you are away. There are different types of surveillance equipment, and the hidden cameras are a little bit on the expensive side ($100+). What you’ll want to use is something that is small, and motion activated so you do not have to risk running out of storage for capturing video (and audio if you choose). This method has been made famous by a hit TV series called “Cheaters”, with Joey Greco.

7. Private investigators

Private eyes are the last thing you should consider if you do not have the cash. They are the most expensive way to catch a cheating spouse, but they are also the most reliable way. All you do is pay, and they will have every tool described here and more to track and document your cheating spouse’s activities. It is not uncommon to receive a bill of $3k or more for hiring a P.I. to track someone out of town for several days. A private investigator may also provide assistance to your attorney in civil cases such as helping you get child custody, premarital screening, and proving whether or not your spouse is cheating on your or not[6].

8. Setting traps

Something often overlooked, setting simple “traps” can help tell us if there are things going on in our home when we are away. A trap can be as simple as putting a thin see through tape at the back end of your toilet seat. If you are expecting no one to be home, and you apply this toilet seat trap, the most likely situation you would walk into when you get home is the tape would still be there. But if that tape is broken, you’ll know someone has been in your bathroom. Simple, free, effective. Read the full Free Ways To Catch Your Cheating Spouse article.

 

Other Ways To Catch A Cheating Spouse That Is –NOT– Recommended

1. Lie Detector Tests

These are not just expensive, they’re subjective as well. The will of the examiner and how nervous the person taking the test is what will determine whether or not they will look guilty or innocent according to the lie detector. People react differently when lying, and lie detector test examiners have different approaches in “controlling” your response. Lie detectors are not even supported by the scientific community. Trickery, not science, is what is used to get the “truth” out of you. If you would like to find out more about why a lie detectors should never be used, read this book “The Lie Behind The Lie Detector“[7] by George W. Maschke and Gino J. Scalabrini from antipolygraph.org

2. Impersonation

Calling up credit card companies, banks, phone companies, internet service providers and pretending to be someone you’re not is impersonation, or if you do it online it’s called Phishing[8]. Say for example you found out the identity of the person your spouse is cheating on you with, then you use his or her name and pretend to be them in order to phish information, you can and most probably will get sued if they find out about it. Stick to watching for signs of cheating and focusing on your own spouse. Leave the other person alone, avoid all interaction unless you are going to confront them with legally acquired proof that they have been cheating with your spouse.

 

Additional Information

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covert_listening_device#Remotely_activated_mobile_phone_microphones
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keystroke_logging
3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_Positioning_System
4. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reverse_telephone_directory
5. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image_retrieval#Search_methods
6. http://www.bls.gov/oco/ocos157.htm#nature
7. http://www.antipolygraph.org/lie-behind-the-lie-detector.pdf
8. http://kb.iu.edu/data/arsf.html#explained