Reverse Image Tracking

Have you ever heard of a search engine for images? No, this isn’t like Google Images where you type in words and find pictures, it’s a search engine that lets you search for images, using images you upload or link to. There’s quite a few image based search engines around, but for this article, we’ll choose the one which I think is the best (it’s free and effective). Reverse image searching is also known as  Content-Based Image Retrieval (CBIR), and is one of the methods we listed in the how to catch a cheating spouse main article, and is also useful for child protection when you want to do a background check on some of your kids friends.

How Does Reverse Image Tracking Work?

Simply put, image based search engines work just like a regular search engine, but you search for images using other images instead of words. Whenever you upload or direct link a picture to the CBIR, they search their database for pictures that either look exactly like your picture, or those that are closely related. This is a rather new type of search engine, and unlike Google (the word based google), it has not enough resources yet to scan the whole web, but they do cover most of the popular sites like Facebook, Myspace, and any other social networking/dating site you could think of. Jump down to the example below for the reverse image tracker.

Catching A Cheating Spouse With Reverse Image Tracking

 

Acquiring The Pictures And What To Look For :

Pictures of your spouse on any social networks – You’ll want to see if your spouse has any other secret social networking profiles, so you’ll want to scan their profiles pics. If you’re lucky, you may get a matching picture from another social network you don’t know about. Most spouses who cheat online start off using social networking sites and chat rooms, so this is a good place to run reverse image tracking.

Pictures of people you suspect are having an affair with your spouse – To see other places they have pictures on. It’s not uncommon for cheaters to have more than one site they posts pics to, and they usually keep facebook pages “clean” because it’s more visible. You might see pictures of them with your spouse if you’re (un)lucky.

Pictures of spouse’s workmates – Some companies have company websites with pictures and bios of their employees, good place to scan for possible relationships that are being kept secret from you; search their pics and check if they have any social sites attached to that picture.

 

Example of How To Track Spouse’s Pictures

reverse image tracking example picAs an example, lets pretend Audrey Hepburn is your spouse. We’ll track a picture of Audrey Hepburn and find out where else this beautiful actress’ picture is located on the web.

Step 1 : Download / Collect all pictures you want to track

Profile pictures work best because can possibly lead you to other sites that they own, and you don’t know about; or forum/blog posts that talk about them.

Step 2 : Upload or Link an already hosted picture

Upload / Link to your image here

When directly linking a picture, you need to right click the image and select “View Image” or something similar, depending on your browser. The URL you need to be linking should be on that points directly to the image, nothing else but the image.

For this example, our link is “http://relationshipyard.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/audrey-hepburn-example.jpg”.

reverse image tracking 1

Step 3 : List down links and investigate

Check out where your spouse’s pictures are posted at and who owns those websites. You can further investigate using reverse phone lookups if you find any telephone/cellphone numbers (this is only for those based in the US). The only way this won’t work is if pictures are set to private.

reverse image tracking 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For better results, make sure “Best Match” is checked so you filter out the edited/similar pictures like this :

reverse image tracking 3

Additional Information :

Speed up the process by installing the following :

Firefox internet browser (free)

TinEye Firefox Plugin (free)

Now all you have to do when you want to search an image using reverse image tracking is to right click and select “Search Image On TinEye”. To remove tineye plugin from firefox, or to configure it, go to Tools -> Add-Ons -> TinEye and either select “uninstall” or “options” to configure.

 

Signs Of An Emotional Affair

Is your spouse having an emotional affair? You can read more about emotional affairs in that article, this article will focus on the warning signs that you might observe from a husband or wife having who is emotionally cheating.

Most people, the cheaters especially, do not consider emotional affairs as real affairs, because there nothing sexual going on. In reality, most of these emotional affairs will turn into physical “real” affairs. It may even be the cause of your breakup because in physical affairs, sex is the only goal of the cheater; in emotional affairs, both their physical and emotional needs are met by their new lovers.

Emotional Affair Signs

Spouse is distant

One of the first things you may observe from a cheating spouse having an emotional affair is that they feel or seem distant. They act aloof, don’t look forward to seeing you, or just basically stop caring about anything that happens involving both of you. The closest feeling you get is the one you feel right after a fight, when they give you the could shoulder; but not severe enough to warrant a confrontation about why they are so cold towards you. A cause of an emotionally distant spouse could be having trouble deciding whether or not they want to stay in their current relationship.

Lack of emotional or physical intimacy

Another sign of emotional cheating. When your spouse loses the need for you, either physically or emotionally, that could mean someone else has stepped up to fulfill their needs. This may also be a sign of physical infidelity, especially if coupled with out of town trips, or late night over time excuses. When you notice lack of intimacy in your relationship, you need to act immediately or risk losing the bond you and your spouse have. Even if you do not suspect them of having an emotional affair, lack of intimacy is the cause of “falling out of love” that we hear about so often in the media (and for most women, that’s Oprah).

Overly suspicious about YOU cheating

If there’s one thing cheaters are great at, it’s misdirection, and this is one of the most common ways cheaters divert your suspicions away from things that could get their affairs caught. I’m sure everyone has experienced this in their lives, when someone who is guilty of something suddenly accuses you of doing what they are guilty off. Cheaters are hypocrites, I’m sure you know that if you’ve ever had to deal with one. My ex-wife once told me that if I kept coming home late, she’ll install a GPS tracker on my car. She actually did, and I let her, because I had nothing to fear.

Defensive about everything

Whether or not you know of their affairs, asking them a simple question like “Where were you last night? I didn’t catch you going in” will drive them to be completely defensive. This overly defensive manner they put up when they answer you is caused by the guilt; something that is common with cheating spouses who have just started an affair – be it emotional or physical. Like being overly suspicious, overly defensive cheaters will become irritated, and play the victim card for the sole purpose of misdirection.

Having a secret friend of the opposite sex

Doesn’t matter if it’s online, or “in real life”, having a secret friend is a sign of an emotional affair, or an emotional affair waiting to happen. I don’t know why most people say “in real life” when differentiating something online, and something on the computer; it’s still both in real life, it’s just a different form of communication. As far as I’m concerned, emotionally cheating on the computer is the same thing as having an emotional affair with a workmate. There’s no reason to keep a friend secret from your spouse unless you have something to hide.  If you find out about your spouse keeping someone from you, do a little more snooping and check to see what their relationship is like. If they treat each other in a way normal friends do, it’s fine; if you find out they are close and share intimate details they would normally be reserved for their spouses, there might be an emotional affair brewing on the horizon.

Arguing more than usual

It’s healthy to argue once in a while, we’re humans, we don’t agree with each other every time. But if you notice that you are fighting and arguing a lot more over unimportant things, or menial tasks, you might be dealing with an emotional affair. This is another way for liars to misdirect your attention; it could be to get some alone time in another room while they call or chat with the person they are having an emotional affair with, or they could be looking for an easy way to storm out of the house without you suspecting anything.

Schoolboy/Schoolgirl crush

Remember when you use to have a crush on someone when you were younger? You’ll light up just because they are in the same room with you, or because you got to talk to them. You can notice this too with your spouse, if they come home and head straight for the computer to chat, or they are overly happy when they get a phone call, they might be talking to their new “love interest”. Just like when you first started going out with your spouse, they are excited whenever they are about to meet or talk to the other person. This is also what happens to people who have the “7 year itch”, but emotionally not physically.

 

Since we were children, we were always taught by our parents that if you do something wrong, you are going to get punished for your actions. I guess for some people, those who don’t consider emotional affairs as “just talking”, they aren’t doing anything wrong. They continue to justify their actions in their own mind as being harmless, which makes it a lot more difficult to catch an emotionally cheating spouse; spouses involved in a physical affair are more guilty, more defensive, and leave a lot more clues. Some people even consider this a game, thinking they aren’t hurting anyone, and “what they won’t know won’t hurt them”.

If you caught your spouse in an emotional affair, explain to them how it IS harmful, and it IS something that is destructive to your relationship. If they refuse to stop, and repeatedly cheat on you emotionally, marriage counseling might be necessary.

Surviving Infidelity

The following are scenarios that you may find yourself in when trying to survive infidelity, along with my opinions on what you can do. Know that I am just like you, I am not a PHD, not a self proclaimed relationship guru, and not a marriage counselor; I am none of those, I am just like you, someone who has gone through infidelity. I survived infidelity and, although it took longer than it should, flourished.

It took me months to take any sort of action to prove to myself that my husband was having an affair, and two years to get over the fact that I was cheated on by my now ex-husband. I KNOW exactly what you are going through and how horrible it feels; it’s so horrible you feel like you are in a nightmare and want to wake up, this is why most people become delusional during the early stages of infidelity because they expect the problem to fix itself (wake up). It’s the darkest hours of your life finding out someone you love and trust above all else has betrayed you.

But trust me, after all of this has passed, you will become a stronger person. You don’t believe that now, but after a year has passed, with the right mindset, you will become emotionally stronger with better judgment and control of your life. Same goes for your marriage, if you choose to remain married; your marriage and bond with your spouse together will get stronger in time, you will gradually regain the lost trust, and get the feeling of security back. A marriage counselor will quicken the process for both.

Once I got rid of my negativity, I did start dating again, and I did eventually get married again. I changed my whole “the sky is falling down” attitude that I’ve had since I found out about the affair, and started to think AND do positive. There’s such a horrible media created stereotype that women who are in their late thirties will have a harder time finding a man that wants to be with them. If you’ve been with your spouse since you were in your early twenties, then broke up when you were older, you shouldn’t have that fear of being alone. You will be able to find someone that truly deserves you, all you need to do is go out there to create the opportunity. Holing up and being depressed will never get you anything, and should be avoided at all costs.

One of the most important things that you should know is that trying to survive infidelity alone will increase the difficulty of the whole process, you NEED to vent, be it anonymously online, a friend or family member, an infidelity support group, or a professional marriage counselor. I highly recommend marriage counselors, and you have zero excuses to not seek help because there are online marriage counseling courses available to you if you can’t afford one of your local counselors. A typical marriage counselor in America costs around $100-200+ an hour, online marriage counseling costs $200-300 for a whole course, and extra for one on one coaching sessions. If you are low on cash, finish an online marriage counseling course first, then seek online one on one marriage coaching. I hope this article will help you deal with infidelity better than I did.

 

Beginning Of Infidelity

You’ve observed the typical signs of a cheating spouse, you start thinking that you may have infidelity problems, but still doubt it because you know your husband or wife loves you. More signs appear, and you decide to do some spying. You find proof that points towards an affair. At first you refuse to believe it because it’s your spouse, they would never ever do that. But as you observe more and more signs, find more and more proof, you start to accept that it could be a reality. Your spouse could be cheating on you, being intimate with someone else behind your back. Your world stops, and your heart drops on the floor shattering into a billion pieces. You see images of your spouse with someone else, being intimate together, laughing together, doing all the things you used to do, and lying to you about it. You contemplate whether or not you should continue living and you fall into a deep dark depressed state.

This may not be true for you, but that certainly was me, I was so gutted I locked myself up in the bathroom as soon as I found proof of an affair and cried my eyes out. I wanted to end my life. If you have never gone through infidelity, this may seem exaggerated to you, but trust me, it’s not even close. To describe the feeling of finding out that your spouse is having an affair, I would have to compare it to being locked up in an escape proof box. That is slowly sinking to the deepest depths of the ocean. Slowly getting crushed by the pressure. Even if you escape the box, you’ll still be killed by the pressure. If you don’t escape the box, you get crushed along with it. If you somehow survive the pressure and escape from the box, you will drown because you can’t hold your breath long enough to resurface. That’s almost as painful as first finding out you have infidelity problems.

The common reactions of people first discovering infidelity are usually either shock, disbelief, hate, or all of the above at the same time. I say this based on my own experience, and that of the hundreds of people that I’ve talked to and emailed. The only thing that tops the questions “how do I save my marriage?” is “how can I get revenge?”. The best revenge is acting like you aren’t affected and moving on as quickly as you possibly can. You don’t want to waste anymore of your life on them. Letting your ex-spouse end up with the person they cheated on you with is also a form of revenge because every time they see their cheat partner they will realize how much of a disgusting human being they are, and that it could happen to them because their relationship was based on an affair.

Infidelity is so devastating that it causes you lose the ability to think properly, and let your emotions take control over your actions. Some, out of sheer desperation, will offer or try to do anything and everything for their spouse just to save their marriage (you shouldn’t, this will make your spouse more inclined to leave you). We’ll talk about saving a marriage in another article, but for this article we will focus on ourselves first because self healing is necessary before attempting to salvage a failing relationship.

 

Ways To Survive Infidelity

Here are some ways to help you deal with your infidelity problems. If you’ve just discovered that your husband or wife cheated on you, please do NOT make any drastic decisions until you’ve calmed down. Traumatizing experiences may cause you to say or do something you do not mean, or want to happen. Take some time off, let your emotions settle, then come up with a plan to save your marriage, or end it. Seek help from a marriage counselor if you are able to.

 

Vent Your Infidelity Problems

One of the most important things for you to do is to get support from people who will understand your situation. It doesn’t matter who you go to, what is important is that as soon as you find out you have infidelity problems, immediately share it with a friend, relative, or on our surviving infidelity forums. It will drastically improve your feelings, and they may even give you helpful advice. Right now, you want to know there are people out there that want to help you. You need all the help you can get, so don’t be afraid to ask for it.

A major problem victims of infidelity have is that they do not like telling other people what happened because they feel ashamed that they were cheated on (and it is humiliating, especially if you had no clue of the affair). This is the wrong mindset, don’t think about what others will think of your marriage or relationship, think about how much easier everything will be with the support of your family and friends. If you have no one you can talk to, I urge you to post on our forums or seek an infidelity support group. There are a few members right now on the forums, but Mike (my husband), Hana, and myself will always reply to your posts. If you feel that what you have to share is not fit for the forums, you can email me directly.

You have zero excuses for not telling anyone now. Family, friends,  surviving infidelity forums, an infidelity support group, or email me directly (I will always try to reply as soon as I can). Why am I pushing this? Because it’s extremely important, and something that took me months to do myself (I talked to friends about it, went to a counselor alone, and eventually joined an infidelity support group and met Mike). I want you to talk to someone, and do it as soon as you can. Venting your feelings to someone that is willing to listen is one of the best ways to survive infidelity and get another point of view. So please do it.

Do NOT Give Your Spouse Ultimatums

Can you count how many times you’ve said “You will NEVER AGAIN DO ______ AFTER THIS” during or right after a fight? What about “I’m never going to ______ because of this”? What happened after you gave your ultimatum? You had more fights, or your spouse started holding grudges. Ultimatums do nothing but make a relationship worse. If your partner is not willing to compromise, giving them ultimatums will just make them sick of you and feel trapped in the relationship.

When you first find out you are dealing with infidelity you enter a state of shock, and your emotions take over. This will cause you to act based on what just happened, you being betrayed. Naturally you’ll want to get even, and you may say things you don’t mean. Such as “our marriage is so over. that was the last straw!”, when really, you still love your spouse very much but are just so hurt you want to push them away and hurt them back. Your spouse, who cheated, may also still love you very much and genuinely regret having their affair. So take a break, move to your relatives or somewhere you can have “me time”, and find people to talk to about your problems. Search the local yellow pages for marriage counselors or therapists. Give your family doctor a call and ask for a recommendation in case they know some therapists in your area.

 

Get Marriage Counseling Locally Or Online

Alternative To Marriage Counseling

Sign up to receive Dr. Gunzburgs free "How To Survive An Affair" report. Perfect alternative for those who can't afford a local therapist.

I’ll go in depth in marriage counseling in another article, but this is something you may or may not want. Some people are not comfortable telling strangers (even though they are professional marriage therapists) about their private lives and problems. Some people may not agree with going to marriage counselor, or even believe they can help (they do). They will give you a personalized plan to get your marriage back together, and offer structure. They let you vent, in front of your spouse, and give suggestions to each of your problems that will help you compromise together.

Marriage counseling is one of the best ways to survive infidelity as a couple, or by yourself. If your spouse (the one who cheated) refuses to go to marriage counseling, you should ask yourself if they REALLY want to save your marriage. This is a compromise any cheating spouse should agree to, because it’s a positive step to gaining back the trust they lost from you.  That’s the most important part of counseling for me, helping you trust your cheating spouse again, and helping them figure out why they cheated and what they need to do to mend the relationship.

Another reason some people don’t go to marriage counseling is because of the high fees. I understand that $100-200 per hour is a lot, but consider what you are getting for that fee. You are getting help to rebuild your failing marriage, is that not worth the fees? If you really can’t save up $100-200 per counseling session, then try an online course designed by a marriage counselor. Don’t skip this method of surviving infidelity until you’ve actually tried it. There are so many negative stereotypes against “shrinks”, but the truth is, they help people a lot. It’s just not as visible as say a surgeon or a family doctor, but they do improve the quality of life for lots of people, not just people with failing marriages.

Most people save this method for last because they want to try to fix the problem themselves. For some with simple problems like a spouse that flirts or is too touchy, that works, for others that are dealing with an affair, they dig a deeper whole that can sometimes lead to a divorce.

You can find a marriage counselor in your area by googling “marriage counseling [your state here]”, by looking through a phone directory, or even better, calling your family doctor and asking for a recommendation. I’d always take a referral over a phone directory.

For online marriage counseling courses, see Dr. Gunzburg’s program on how to survive an affair. Watch the video and signup to get the free report. Take the course online, and then seek one on one coaching. That’s the cheapest alternative to marriage counseling you can get. $100-200 per hour vs $50 per month for a 4 month course.

The online course teaches you how to start talking with your spouse again, how you can make them end the affair, how to forgive your spouse and restore the trust you once had, and stop seeing images and getting negative thoughts about the affair your husband or wife had. You get the ebook version instantly followed by the hard copy and workbook they mail to you. I would hold off on the one on one coaching sessions until you actually complete the course, either alone or as a couple. The surviving infidelity course works on the victim, and the cheater separately, and then together once you’ve dealt with your individual problems. It’s main focus is trust building.

 

Read How Others Dealt With Infidelity

Another great way to feel better is by reading through other people’s infidelity problems, and how they solved it. Doing this reassures you that you are not alone, and you will be able to do the same things as they have. Please take some time and visit the infidelity forums and browse through other people’s problems and what they did to overcome it. The forums is heavily moderated, so if you are planning on posting, do not flame, curse, or reveal someone’s personal information.

Surviving infidelity is much more easier when you get inspired by people who have succeeded. We will maintain the forums as long as possible because we believe this is one of the best resources we can share with victims of infidelity, and we would appreciate if you shared your stories with us. For the benefit of the future readers like yourself, that need the inspiration to show them that they too can overcome their marriage problems.

 

Put Your Feelings Into Writing

Write down everything you feel, and what you think about the affair. Imagine you are talking to your spouse directly, and put to words everything and anything you want to say to them. It doesn’t matter if you give them what you wrote or not, but venting it and putting it in to writing will help you relieve some of the stress of the affair. It’s also a good way to gain structure and come up with a plan on what you want to do with your relationship. Again, don’t do anything drastic while you are in a state of emotional trauma.

 

Stay Healthy

Easier said than done, I know. It’s very difficult to keep eating properly, or having enough exercise and staying active, but it’s a necessity. There’s absolutely no way you are going to survive an affair if you are unhealthy physically and emotionally. Even if you don’t want to or can’t exercise, you need to at least eat three meals a day. Can’t eat proper meals? At least eat some protein bars, and meal replacement shakes along with vitamins.

My suggestion, for those who can, is just run. Run as fast as you can, for as long as you can. It feels great, and is a natural way to relieve stress. If you run enough, your body releases endorphins and you  may experience what some people call a “runner’s high”.[1]

In the following days, you will be making one of the most important decisions in your life that will potentially change your relationship. Don’t ever make any important decisions when you are not physically and emotionally stable.

 

Stay Happy

Like the runner’s high (endorphins make you happy), but instead of exercise, we buy ourselves things :) Do you love chocolate? Go buy yourself a box. Have you been dying to get that outfit you always pass by going home from work? Buy it!. Go to a hair salon, get your hair done. For the guys, well my husband loves collecting DVDs, so go buy yourself the whole Godfather trilogy set and watch it with some buddies. If you can afford it, go on a vacation in another country you’ve been dying to see.

Point is, do whatever it takes to lift your mood up. Now is the lowest, most depressing point in your life, it’s the perfect time to buy yourself things that make you happy. Go call some friends and do something fun with them, treat them out to dinner. Anything to take your mind away from infidelity, and give you time to cool off. Remember your goal, it’s to create a plan to survive infidelity. You can’t do that properly if you are depressed or angry, because you will most likely opt to get rid of the person that hurt you (your spouse).

Get your emotions in check, create a plan, and follow through. You might hate your spouse more than ANYONE right now, but you may find that after a month or two, you still really love them and they may also still love you and realize what a grave mistake they’ve committed.

 

Create A Plan To Help You Survive Infidelity

You will need to create your own plan on how you can survive infidelity, below is a suggestion on what I would do if I had to re-live my past experience with a cheating spouse. Writing this down on a blog, piece of paper, or forums will benefit you more than just mentally remembering it. Remember to create your plan during your break/time apart so you don’t let your emotions dictate your actions.

 

An example plan

After discovering my spouse had an affair, I would confront them about it, but give no ultimatums/final decisions. I would tell them we need to take some time apart to think about the problems we are going through. I would avoid a screaming match at all costs, and save further confrontation until we both have made up our minds about our relationship.

I will call up my mother, she dealt with an affair too, so she would understand exactly what I’m going through. My second option would be too call a trusted friend. My third option is to anonymously share my story on a infidelity support forum/group (although I would prefer the forum because I am not great at publicly sharing my feelings even though anonymous). We heavily moderate posts on our forum, and we won’t post something that is spam, hateful, or detrimental to anyone’s recovery. Be wary when joining an infidelity forums because some are NOT moderated and you may end up just receiving bad advice, flames, or negative comments where people blame you for the whole affair.

While taking some time to cool off, I would think about whether I want to save our marriage, or get separated. I would research on a local marriage counselor, after checking with a family doctor or relatives for a recommended couple’s therapist. My second option would be to take an online marriage counseling course on how to survive an affair as an alternative.

While still on a break, I would plan my day by creating a schedule, remember that it is important to stay healthy and eat properly. I would continue to vent to my family, friends, or anonymously through one of the forums I chose to join. I will also read other people’s examples and what they did to cope with the affair. I would put all my hate and anger into a letter that I will make my spouse read, then I will continue with my self healing. If you have the money, this is the time to consider going on a vacation or shopping trips.

When I start feeling better, I will go back to my spouse and ask them what they want to happen to our relationship, and tell them what I want. I would ask them to go to marriage counseling with me so we can work on our marriage. (I did not do this in real life, because my first marriage was not salvageable. I chose to get a divorce instead, and got full custody of our kids since he did not care).

When we start going to the marriage counselor, or taking an online marriage counseling alternative, I will make sure both of us follow through with the assignments, and I would also suggest we do things that we used to enjoy together, or maybe even save up for a couples retreat once we’ve finished with our counseling course.

 

What Should I Do Right Now?

  1. Call up your family, friends, and vent. Let them know what you’re going through, they will naturally want to help you. Don’t be ashamed to take them up on their offers, move in with them, go out with them, be with them. Nothing can replace being cared for by people your love. If you have no option of doing that, take the alternative and post on the forums. If you don’t want that either, send me an anonymous email and we can talk.
  2. After venting, leave the house (the house you live in with your spouse) and get some away time from them so you can clear your mind. Remember, no ultimatums and final decisions until you’ve thought everything through.
  3. Start the healing process. Do one, or all (better), of the above methods talked about in the ways to survive infidelity section. You can even consider taking the online marriage counseling course alone to quicken the process and give you insight on what to expect from your spouse and where your marriage is headed.
  4. Once you’ve cleared your mind, and got rid of as much of the negative thoughts and emotions, you can begin creating your plan on what you want to happen, or follow through with the 4 month course above.

 

Remember, the most important thing in surviving infidelity is NOT trying to take it all on alone.

 

Additional Information

1.http://www.lehigh.edu/~dmd1/sarah.html

Reverse Phone Lookups To Catch Spouse Cheating

In this article we will talk about reverse phone / mobile phone lookups to help us catch a cheating spouse. As of now, I have only found reverse number lookup services for USA based people, I will add reverse phone lookup Canada and UK services once we’ve tested some that work and are not that expensive (some charge $50+). Follow the link above for other ways to catch your spouse cheating. You can also use this method to find a phone number on map for free.

 

What Is A Reverse Phone Lookup Service?

A reverse phone lookup service (also called reverse number lookup, gray pages, reverse directory, yellow pages reverse lookup or white pages reverse lookup) is a service that lets you track someone’s details without knowing their name, or address. Unlike the regular white pages, yellow pages, or any kind of telephone directory where you need to know a person or business’ name, you only need to enter their number on the reverse phone lookup website and you will be able to retrieve their details; in a regular phone directory you search for names to get numbers, in a reverse phone directory you search for numbers to get names.

The details that are commonly shown to you, for the free reverse phone lookup: google maps exact position of the phone (if it’s landline, not cell phone), address, phone provider and sometimes the first name of the owner of the phone. I haven’t found a free phone number reverse lookup with names (complete names) involved, but I have tried a background check service where you track someone by using their name, and not their number. We’ll discuss that background check service in another article, although some reverse phone lookup services offer this in a bundle. For $50 or so you will get all the publicly accessible data (criminal records, divorce records, etc), a good way to protect your children from known criminals or sex offenders, not exactly that helpful to us in catching a cheater.

 

How Does Reverse Phone Number Lookup Work?

Reverse phone, or reverse cell phone lookup services hire people to collect all publicly accessible data and enter it into their database. They charge the searcher a small fee, usually $19 a month for unlimited number lookups, or a small one time fee($3-7) for a single report on a phone number. Some unlisted numbers (unlisted from local telephone directories) are also included in their databases, those come from services you sign up for that publicly display your details.

 

Reverse Phone Lookup To Catch A Cheating Spouse

The best reverse phone lookup services offer a full background check on the owner of the phone, something that private investigators use. I don’t recommend those that cost $50+ because I don’t think it will be anyway helpful to someone who is trying to prove their spouses are having an affair. Always pick the cheapest service you can get.

Update March 2015 : The reverse phone lookup service I previously recommended has closed down, and I have yet to find something that is as cheap as $3. So for the meantime you can use a free service with less features. This site also lets you search by name + state. (USA only, sorry)

When trying to find out if your spouse is having an affair, you should collect all unknown phone numbers that call your house, or if you can, check the cell phone numbers of your spouse’s phone. Look at all your spouse’s call history and list down all phone numbers they called, who has called them, and those that lasted for longer than a few minutes. Once you’ve created a list, run those numbers in a reverse phone lookup service and check the location of the phones. You will be able to tell if your spouse could possibly be having a physical affair with those people if their locations are close to your own, if they’ve been talking for long periods of time but the locations is not close enough to drive to, they may be having an emotional affair.

An example of a reverse phone lookup service is the form you see to your right. If you already have a list, or a few numbers you are suspicious of, try entering them on the form and you will find the exact source of that number. It’s free to find the phone number on google maps, but for a full report it will cost you $3. To see how it works, see the example screenshots below of me tracking a phone number’s address.

Reverse Number Search Demonstration

For the purpose of demonstrating the reverse number search service (the form attached above, to the right), we are going to use Harvard’s contact details (which is publicly available, I won’t use anyone’s personal phone). Let’s pretend that Harvard’s contact number is actually an unknown number we found on our phone bills, caller ID, or our spouse’s cell phone. We ask our spouse about it but they don’t tell us who it is and why they’ve been talking a lot. We suspect they may be having an affair, or if you are thinking of protecting your kids, maybe you want to make sure the people who contact them have no criminal records. This particular service is a reverse phone lookup AND offers criminal background checks, as well as divorce / marriage records; full details on the service is listed below the demonstration.

To get answers to our questions, we will run a reverse phone no. lookup by using the form above. Here’s what we’ll get after inputting the phone number in the form :

Free reverse phone lookup Google results

Free Reverse Phone Lookup Google Maps Results

In the photo above, you’ll see that the results include google maps, which is very powerful on it’s own as you can mark a location and ask google to give you exact directions on how to get there. Google also lets you view pictures of that area and nearby webcams. So for the free reverse phone lookup, we get their general area, a visual on the map (powered by google), the type of phone, and service provider.

From here we can easily tell whether or not our spouses are cheating with the person (physically), if it’s too far to drive to in an hour or less, it’s most likely not a physical affair. You can run all of the numbers you’ve collected on the form above for FREE. To get additional details though, like their exact name and full address, you will need to pay the $3 trial fee. This is the best value that I’ve found because if you choose to be a member, you also get background reports (will include criminal records, court cases, divorce records, marriage details, and previously owned properties) all for the price of just a regular reverse phone service.

When you’ve found out details of the numbers you’ve checked, and one of them seems suspicious, ask your husband or wife about that number, try to get as much details as you can. Important details are the name and address. You’ll obviously know the area, so you will be able to tell whether or not they are lying to you about the address. The important part is the name. You will want to get your spouse to give you the name of the owner of the phone number you are suspicious about, because on that same site there is a “people search” that allows you to search by name. It will display their general area the same way their phone number displayed a basic free reverse phone lookup result. If they say the name of the person is “Bob Doe” and he lives at “Utah” you’ll know they’re lying if the reverse phone number and people search tells you they are from New York.

people search lookup results

You can search for someone based on their names as well.

To confirm whether or not your spouse is lying, use the $3 trial and search for both the name that your spouse gave you, and the phone number you found. If they aren’t lying, “Bob Doe” should appear as the owner of the number you searched for, if they are lying the number you searched for may belong to someone else. Don’t panic though if you don’t see the same name, maybe they are living with that person and they aren’t actually the registered owner. To confirm that even further, ask one of your friend’s to call that number and look for “Bob Doe”.

 

Tips to catch a cheating spouse with reverse phone lookup

1. Gather a list of suspicious phone / mobile phone numbers.
2. Input them on the form above.
3. Ask your spouse for the name of the owner of the cell phone or landline you checked.
4. Did they give you a name?
A. Match the name they gave with the results of both the reverse phone number, and people search results. If they were telling the truth, the reverse phone lookup’s location results should match the people search’s location results (they both show locations for free). If the results don’t match, you just caught holes in their excuses.
B. If they did not give you the name, pay the $3 trial fee and find out the full details of the owner of that phone number and continue on with your research on that person. See how they are connected to your spouse, or ask your spouse directly who that person is, since you already know they called your spouse’s cell phone/landline.
5. Did the name your spouse gave you not match the name the reverse phone lookup service gave you? Ask a friend to call that phone number and look for the person your spouse mentioned. If no one lives there by that name, you just caught them lying to you again. If you’ve successfully found the person your spouse mentioned, either confront them about their relationship with your spouse, or hold off and do more detective work.

 

Other Features Of This Reverse Phone Lookup Service

This is not true for all reverse phone lookup services, only with the one we selected for this article. We selected this particular company because most of their tools are the same things private investigators use when you hire them. Besides getting their reverse phone number lookup, you will also get :

Background Checks

Court Records – if they have been convicted of any crimes
Marriage and Divorce Records – to check up on their ex husbands or wives
Birth Records
Death Records
Property Records – what they currently own
Asset Information – useful if you’re having a divorce

People Search

Phone numbers
Email addresses – amazingly helpful if you suspect your spouse has hidden emails that they use to contact other people with.
Address history – past and present addresses
Relatives and associates – to find out if the person your spouse is cheating with is an co-worker

Criminal Records

Arrest and conviction records – more for the safety of your children than catching a cheating spouse
Felonies and misdemeanor
Sex offenders – very important if you are checking up on the neighborhood you and your kids are part of
Mug shots
Criminal driving infractions – again, very important when checking up on the people your children associate with
Court and probation records

Internet Sites

Target’s social sites (facebook, myspace etc)
Target’s Photos and Videos on social sites
Blogs or websites that they own

 

Additional Information :

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reverse_telephone_directory
2. http://whocallsme.com/ – a free user created database. Got a prank caller or telemarketer that won’t stop calling your home or cell phone? Add it to the database, or check if it already exists.

Free Ways to Catch Your Spouse Cheating

In this article we will talk about the free ways we can catch a cheating spouse. Although not as effective as their paid counterparts (using keyloggers, cell phone trackers, or hidden cameras), it is still effective. The only problems we have with these methods are the limitations they have regarding collecting factual evidence,  most of these methods may also require additional help from your friends. Don’t let the simplicity of these traps fool you, they work well, and are unexpected.

Make sure you do not skip ahead to confronting your spouse about an affair without proper proof to back up your accusations. The last thing we would want to do is make a cheater aware we know about their affairs. If you want to read the original article that focuses on not just the free ways, go to the how to catch a cheating spouse article.

 

Free Ways To Catch A Cheating Spouse

1. See Through Tape Trap

I mentioned this back in the main how to catch a cheating spouse article. Simple see through tape can be used on doors, toilet seats, fridges or anything that will rip the tape off when used. This can be used in determining if your spouse comes home and has company with them. Examples would be using the tape on the toilet seat. If no one should be home at that time, then the tape will remain in tact. Another way to use this simple trick to catch a cheat is by taping the bed cover to the bed, taping the pillow to the covers, or taping the edges of the bed cover to the headboard. Great simple way to find out if someone has used the bed while you were gone. These aren’t obvious areas to tape and won’t likely even be noticed by your spouse, you won’t have to fear tipping them off that you are on to them.

2. Bait Your Spouse On The Internet

Cheating spouses are common all over the internet. This is why one of the most recommended ways of catching them is installing either hardware or software keyloggers. If you don’t have the spare cash for that a free effective way will be creating bogus profiles; profiles of people that you would expect your spouse to be attracted to. You of all people should know what type of person your spouse would find attractive, so create the bait and then “accidentally” find their profile. Send them personal messages on facebook, myspace, or the social site of their choice; throw them some compliments in the P.M. and ask if you could be friends. More often than not a cheater will respond positively. From that point be creative, start flirting with them. If you get the feeling that they are in to you and would go further, test it. Maybe turn the conversation sexual and see how they react. Get their phone numbers. This method has worked for many people whom I’ve helped, and we were lucky(or unlucky) to find out that most of their spouses have secret prepaid cell phones that they use exclusively for “hooking up”. Possibly the best method in this list.

3. Make Your Friend Hit On Your Spouse

This is difficult on many levels;  you need to have a friend that is willing to help you, and you have to be willing to let the fake seduction go on until you are certain they are willing to cheat on you (which is emotionally draining to experience). If you have a willing friend that your spouse does not know of, instead of having them seduce your spouse in real life, make them do the second method on this list. Make them have regular phone conversations until you are satisfied that you have enough proof of infidelity. Make sure you have that friend with you when you confront them so they have no escape. If you plan on giving your friend a digital voice recorder to capture their conversations, please do some research on your local state laws; think Mel Gibson Vs Oksana Grigorieva. In the state of California, if you do not let the person you are talking to know that the conversation is being recorded it will not be admissible in a court of law.

 

4. Spouse’s Internet Browsing History

For the non-tech savvy cheaters, it will be easy to track their online activities. Here’s how to check the internet browsing history for three of the most used web browsers :

For Firefox

spouse's internet browsing history

This is what it should look like in your internet explorer browser

Click on Tools > Options > Privacy > Select “Remember History”. This should enable the logging of websites so you can check what sites your spouse has visited. To view the actual history press Ctr + Shift + H, or click on History > Show All History

For Internet Explorer

Click on Tools > Internet Options > General > Uncheck “Delete Browsing History On Exit”. This will allow you to record website history. To view the actual history, press the same buttons as firefox or click on, View > Explorer Bars > History

For Google Chrome

Chrome automatically collects browsing history. To view the history page, just press Ctrl + H, or click on the wrench icon and scroll down to “History”; a search box should appear along with the dates and sites visited.

You’re out of luck though if your spouse is tech savvy and knows how to clear their tracks; the only solution against a spouse that deletes their internet browsing history is getting a hardware keylogger, or software keylogger.

 

Care to add your own FREE way to catch a cheating spouse? Leave it in the comments section. This post should only contain free methods, see the original article for all the other ways to catch a cheating spouse.  I’ll update this as much as I can.

Catch Cheating Spouse With Keyloggers

In this article we will discuss the functions and types of keyloggers, and how you can use them to confirm or deny your beliefs that your spouse is cheating on you. We will also include information on how to detect a keylogger on computer just to keep you informed on how to protect your pc or laptop. For specific keylogger product reviews, follow the links below to relevant articles. This article is only a general overview on keyloggers and how we can apply them to catching a cheater, not a product recommendation page.

Before using any type of keylogger, spy software, cell phone tracker, GPS device and similar spy gear, be sure to do your own research on your local state laws. Each state law differs in regards to monitoring private activities, and it is absolutely illegal to install keyloggers or similar devices on other people’s properties. It’s common that keylogger manufacturers tell you it’s “100% legal to own” but they usually leave out the part where it’s illegal to use in your state/country, so don’t get in to trouble and do research or you can get sued if you get caught.

 

What Are Keyloggers?

Keyloggers, (also called keystroke loggers, keystroke recorders, or keystroke trackers) are devices or programs that monitor a computer or laptop’s keystrokes. There have also been recent keyloggers designed specifically for cellphones, which are called cell phone trackers, or cellphone spies. This means anything typed into a computer, laptop, or mobile phone will be recorded by your cell phone keylogger.

These spy gadgets or softwares are often used in monitoring employees, or protecting one’s own pc or mac from sleuths who snoop through your files, or copy files without permission. The best keyloggers are capable of storing all keystrokes, passwords[[1], and websites visited on the internet. The more advanced keyloggers even take screenshots and remotely report all their findings to you via email.

 

Types of Keyloggers

There are two types of keyloggers available in the market, the simpler hardware keyloggers, and the more complex software keyloggers. The latter being the more popular form of keylogger, because of the malicious people that spread it on the internet in hopes of stealing your personal information, online bank account or paypal passwords[2].

Before buying anything, make sure that it is compatible with your OS (windows/mac) and that it has a free trial period, or free trial download (limited features and time limit).

1. Hardware Keyloggers

hardware keylogger

Two types of Hardware Keylogger

Hardware Keyloggers are the devices you connect at the back of the PC. These don’t work for laptops unless they are using an external keyboard, which is a rare sight. The advantage of hardware based keyloggers is that they will not require any type of installation. It’s basically plug and play. That means if your personal computer is armed with an antivirus or spy detection software, you will have no chance of being detected. Another pro is that they are portable keyloggers

Before you select your keylogger, make sure you know what type of port your computer uses. Most modern pcs have both, but just to be sure check the back of your computer or unplug your keyboard and look at the port. The two type of hardware keyloggers are the USB keylogger and the PS/2 Keylogger. As seen on the picture to your left, the USB has a rectangular port and the PS/2 has a round port.

The pricing of these keyloggers will depend on the amount of storage space you select. If you use a hardware based keylogger and can give it daily checkups, then you will do fine with a cheap $10 or so version with as little as 2 gigabytes. If you leave the house for days or even weeks, to make sure you record everything that could possibly be typed on your computer get the biggest storage you can get.

The disadvantage of hardware keyloggers is that if your spouse, kids, or anyone you want to monitor when using your computer checks the back/keyboard cord, they will detect it visually, unless they are not very tech savvy. Most people won’t know what that small piece of extra hardware is, very few will.

Although not usually bound by computer/laptop OS, you should check if it’s a windows 7 keylogger only, or windows xp keylogger only, etc.

2. Software Keyloggers

software keylogger

Software Keyloggers

These spy programs are what you can use for both laptops and personal computers. It used to be rare to find a software keyloggers for macs, but they do exist now. The advantage of using this over their hardware cousin is that because it is software based, the features will only be limited by the developers. Common computer monitoring software features are the ability to take screenshots at set intervals, log the websites visited, log instant messenger conversations and save transcripts, and store password files. There are simple keyloggers that function almost identical to hardware based keyloggers, but there are also advanced keyloggers that will let you monitor your computer remotely.

Say you are vacationing, and the only person at home is your spouse or a relative. You could monitor how they use your computer or laptop remotely by having your spy program email you daily reports of the activity it recorded.You can’t do this with a hardware keylogger because those are simple plug and play gadgets, where you need to physically access the data through the computer’s interface.

Another advantage of using a software keylogger is that you will not need to spend more money because you need larger disk space. The software uses your laptop’s or computer’s own hardware to store the data before either sending it to your email, or just manually review it through the interface and delete it.

The biggest pro in my opinion is that if you suspect your spouse is cheating, there will be no chance of them accidentally discovering your plans on monitoring your home computer because they saw the product you ordered. You can download software based keyloggers instantly, most offer a free trial too.

A disadvantage is that some anti virus software targets specific software keyloggers which cause them to either stop working, or be detected. This is a temporary setback if you bought a high quality software based keylogger because these are commonly patched to counter anti viri software. The cycle continues on as both softwares patch over each other.

Make sure, especially for mac users, that your software will be compatible to your OS. Majority of software keyloggers are for windows 7, windows xp, or vista. Mac keylogger softwares are rare, so you should know that any keylogger out there is most likely made for windows unless otherwise stated.

 

How To Detect Keylogger On Computer

Anti Keyloggers are softwares similar to anti virus programs. They can limit the data transferred or completely nullify software based keyloggers. If your current computer or laptop has none, you should install a combination of anti keylogger, anti virus, and firewall softwares to protect you against keyloggers that may be installed in your computer, or (accidentally) downloaded to your computer from malicious websites.

Just because you have installed anti keylogger software does not mean you are fully protected against someone recording your keystrokes on the keyboard, because paid software keyloggers, especially those that are subscription based, will consistently patch their software to make invisible keyloggers, or temporarily undetectable keyloggers. Keylogger detection will never be 100%, no matter what your software provider says. If you want complete, or as close to complete, keylogger detection choose an anti keylogger software that is subscription based, or that guarantees regular updates. Couple that with similar anti virus and firewall programs. The firewall software is just for those specific keyloggers that transmit data remotely via the internet. Commonly used by hackers.

There are absolutely zero ways an anti keylogger software can protect you from hardware keyloggers because the keyboard is directly connected to the keylogger. The data/key strokes are fed first to the keylogger before even reaching your computer, where the software is installed in. But if you’re reading this, then you’ll know to just check the back of your computer to avoid being spied on.

Beware of “Free keylogger downloads”

It’s common to see “Keylogger FREE download!” on a lot of websites, try it yourself and google “spy on computer free” or “free spy software for PC”. Wonder what the catch is? Most of these free software are actually used to track YOUR keystrokes. What they give you may or may not work, but most of these sites are just out to install their keyloggers on your computers to steal your personal information or bank account information. Don’t get tricked into downloading freeware keyloggers.

If you want to save money when trying to catch a cheating spouse, go for the free options described in the setting traps article. Keyloggers, cellphone trackers and other hardware or software is NOT the place where you try and save a few dollars. If you do, you are risking your valuable information being stolen by some hacker by downloading their “freeware” keylogger. If you choose to ignore this warning, you should thoroughly research the product you are downloading, as well as have anti keyloggers, anti virus, and a firewall installed.

A good free firewall is “Zonealarm[3]”, and a good free anti virus is “avast! antivirus[4]”, both are free to download for personal use. IMO, don’t risk it. Would you rather save $30-100, and risk having your information stolen by someone over the internet, or just pick a secure reliable software that won’t infect your PC?

Please try out the free ways mentioned in this site before you download freeware key recorders. I insist. I don’t want you losing your personal information because you wanted to save a few bucks. Most of these malware disguised as freeware are responsible for people losing thousands of dollars from their credit card or bank accounts.

“The log files contained personal information on more than 170,000 victims, including passwords, PINs, user names, and so on. They also contained information, including PINs, on over 10,000 bank accounts, over 140,000 email passwords and the access details of nearly 80,000 members of social networking sites such as Facebook and Hi5.”[5]

 

Additional Information

1. http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/bb761584%28VS.85%29.aspx
2. http://www.cuhk.edu.hk/itsc/security/isglosry/index.html#K
3. http://www.zonealarm.com/security/en-us/zonealarm-pc-security-free-firewall.htm
4. http://www.avast.com/free-antivirus-download
5. http://www.h-online.com/security/news/item/Keyloggers-under-the-microscope-739423.html

Emotional Affairs

What are emotional affairs?

Emotional affairs are relationships formed by individuals who are already in a monogamous relationship (married or long term relationship), but start or maintain another relationship that involves emotional intimacy with a different partner. These new relationships could start out merely as plain friendship, but slowly end up turning into emotional affairs. A relationship can be considered an emotional affair when the details of your conversation are too intimate that it would normally be only appropriate to talk about it with your significant other.

According to Dr. Shirley P. Glass, an infidelity expert, psychologist, and a licensed family and marriage therapist, women are more prone to have emotional affairs than men, and men are more prone to the regular physical affair, where emotions are not the main root cause of infidelity. In a study done by Dr. Glass, she notes that the women who have had extramarital emotional affairs were more unsatisfied with their marriage compared to their male counterparts, and both sexes who have had sexual affairs were both equally more unsatisfied than those who have just had emotional affairs.

It is also noted in Dr. Glass’ book, “Not Just Friends”,  that 57% of wives and 44% of husbands that had affairs said they had strong emotional intimacy with their new partners, but withheld any physical intimacy. This emotional affair statistic maybe misleading because people who take surveys are not always honest with themselves, or with the interviewer. The fact is that if an emotional affair goes on for long enough, eventually the two people in that affair will become so comfortable the relationship may transcend into the realm of physical intimacy.

The leap from being comfortable talking about intimate details to meeting each other and talking about it in real life may take awhile. But the point of meeting each other to having your first kiss, could just be around the corner, and from then on, everything speeds up leading to more physical intimacy. The truth is, people think that talking about intimate details with someone other than your spouse is not a threat. Most people think having regular interactions on the internet with a person of the opposite sex is not going to affect your real life relationship because “we’re just talking. Trust me, once you get comfortable enough, you will want to meet this person in real life. Those having emotional affairs with people they already know in real life, that is even more dangerous because you have constant contact with that person. This is how my ex-wife and I broke up, she was developing a relationship(secretly) with another man she met in an online forum. They eventually met up in real life and I did not even find out about that until several months after I found out that they were chatting on line.

 

Emotional Affair Statistics.

What bother men and women more, emotional or physical infidelity?

emotional affair

Women are more prone to emotional affairs than men.

In a study done by Dr. Christine R. Harris, statistics show that out of 137 subjects(55 male, 87 female) most of them put more weight on emotional infidelity rather than physical infidelity. Out of 87 females, 12% said they care more about physical infidelity, and 88% said they care more about emotional infidelity. Out of 55 males, 47% said they care more about physical infidelity, 53% said they care more about emotional infidelity.

The statistics provided by Dr. Harris’ research seem to make it clear that men are equally bothered by both, and women are far more bothered by emotional infidelity. Now you know why your wife seems to be “overly” jealous when you flirt, or react positively to a women who flirts with you.

 

What is considered emotional cheating?

Deception

You may have experienced this yourself, telling your partner you are doing one thing, but really you are spending time with someone of the opposite sex. This is a form of emotional cheating, twist it however way you want to, it still is emotional cheating. There is no reason for you to ever lie to your spouse about who you are with and what you are doing unless it’s something you know they will disagree with. If you are deceiving your spouse, you are cheating on them emotionally. Sure once or twice it may not feel wrong, but it is. Continue on doing that and you will be on your way to a disastrous marriage. Pray your spouse never tries to track your actions or spy on you, because your stories will be full of holes.

Betraying marriage values

Another way to emotionally cheat on your spouse. Telling someone of the opposite sex about intimate details of your relationship is considered emotional cheating. If you can not talk about something with your everyday regular friends, you should not talk about it with anyone else other than your spouse. Talking about how terrible and miserable you are in a relationship with someone who isn’t your wife or husband is a major form of betrayal.

Devoting extra time to the other person

When you get home from work or whenever you have extra time, you choose to spend this on the internet chatting with your new friend instead of doing what your spouse wants to do, this is another form of emotional cheating. You are putting the needs of this other person before the needs of the person you are married to at the same time lying to them about who you are talking with online. Texting and having phone conversations with a person of the opposite sex also is the same thing, emotional cheating.

Secret Friends

Do you have a friend that your spouse does not know exists? Is this friend of the opposite sex? This “secret friendship” could blossom into an emotional affair if you continue to let it grow, without your spouse’s knowledge. You’ll know when it’s getting “serious” when you start sharing intimate details of your relationship with your spouse to this new person. It may start simply by you talking about your day, and tell them things you left out when you were talking to your spouse. You may even try to justify it as “at least he/she won’t judge me” or “my husband/wife doesn’t care about it”, or it could be that you are subconsciously wanting to make your relationship with your new partner stronger by having conversations that only you two share.

When you can tell, or feel like you can tell anything to that one specific person, but you can’t or don’t want to talk about it with your spouse is a form of wanting their emotional intimacy over your own spouse’s.

To read more signs of an emotional affairs, do a search on the blog or follow this link to “Signs of an emotional affair”.